


My dreams replay my memories

by Somnisneedssleep



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Elise and Xander make a brief appearance, M/M, Mentions of child neglect, Nightmares, Please read the notes in case of trigger warnings, Probably ooc, Protective Siblings, Psychology, Slight Violence, Some characters are mentioned - Freeform, canon character death but only mentioned, slight Niles/Corrin, warning for Niles' jokes and teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-16 02:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11244534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somnisneedssleep/pseuds/Somnisneedssleep
Summary: During his Sophomore of College, Leo was sure he was going to continue suffering quietly from his past. The dream of falling, laughing children, and longing continues to haunt him amongst other things. But History class that year brought a very familiar face into his life which unlocked the can of worms he kept hidden for a long while. College Au. (a/N: Temporary title)





	1. Chapter 1: Dreaming of the past

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is a completely horrible idea. I wrote this a year ago, it all started when I was scrolling through the LeoKumi search on Tumblr when I found this particular post (prompts) that kind of shot my plot bunnies into action. I still can't write, rather unfortunate for me, but I wanted to give it a try. I never got to post it because the new semestre started and I became busy, but when I saw the draft again I decided why not post it. It was originally supposed to be a one shot, but it took me like two weeks or so to write and in 25, 000+ words. Wow. I might just put this into three to four separate chapters so I won't overwhelm anyone.
> 
> Anyway, creative criticism is welcome.
> 
> Clarification of some of the events will be at the end of the final chapter.
> 
> I don't know if anyone has done a similar idea or something, then again I don't thing you would know if this was a similar idea unless the fic is finished. 
> 
> English isn't actually my native language, and I suck at writing ever since I can remember.
> 
> ps. as mentioned on the tags there might be some sensitive material in the proceeding chapters. Nothing too graphic but I thought everyone should just be warned.

There were certain things in his life that Leo would wish to forget; memories too embarrassing that he would rather bury them deep within his unconscious. There was no benefit into recalling such mortifying experiences in his life, and thus he attempts to repress them. However, he must admit, there are some memories that are difficult to repress. It was the theory that, our minds unconsciously repeat traumatic memories in order to help the person get over the pain.

To be honest finds the theory fascinating, but completely rubbish.

There are some memories worth forgetting rather than remembering; no matter how many times the memory would repeat, it would never override the pain. There are memories and experiences that have affected one too deeply. Even wounds that have healed as scars are tender when touched. It wasn’t as if repeating the traumatizing experience would remove the pain, he was sure it would even trigger it.

He wasn’t so sure what the man was thinking, but he wasn’t much of a psychologist anyway, that was more of Corrin’s field of expertise.

With a heavy sigh, Leo placed down the book he was reading. He has been reading the same page thrice, and instead of focusing his mind wonders towards trivial things; things that would not even benefit him in the slightest, nor would be able to help him with his report. It was only the first week of semestre and their professor’s were already showing work into their hands. It was tiring to be honest; sometimes he missed simpler days, where he could simply study in his leisure—

 _A silver haired child was smiling at him, waving his hands wildly and mouthing words that he assumed to be his name_ —

There was no time to dwell into the things that should never be remembered.

That night he dreamt of arguing, and then falling. A hand reached out, it was small, and it looked soft—suddenly it shifted became huge, dark and reached for him—

He woke up to someone knocking on his door, and when his brother entered his room, Leo gave him an apology and told him it was just a dream. His brother lingered at the door for a while, before nodding his head, leaving Leo to curse himself for screaming over a nightmare.

* * *

Several times Leo would agree with the school population that college was the worst choice he ever made. Admittedly he loved the chance to learn, to be challenged, and to earn a degree, however he also found several cons to those positive thoughts; some of professors could be considered as sadists, some of his classmates were disgraceful, and he beginning to tired of the alienation and mundane that comes from college life.

Admittedly, the alienation was caused by himself. He only had a select few friends, two of which were his friends from Highschool, it was only fortunate that all three of them managed to get into the same university, and through which he met another friend. The rest however were his siblings, and quite honestly, he does not recall having any more friends than that—

And yet in the back of his mind, he heard the words  _‘Liar’_  in an echoed whisper.

He ignored it, and decided to focus onto his most recent dilemma—

“My Lord! This fiend continues to tarnish your sacred reputation!” Leo sometimes wonders if Odin is either simply weird, or maybe just not right in the head. “I demand retribution for my lord through duel, and I shall be your opponent!”

“I think you’re over reacting there weirdo.” And Niles was not helping in the matter, “Leo was completely out of the situation.”

“You fiend, to shamelessly harass a young maiden with your vulgar tongue, and heaven almighty within the presence of our lord!” Quietly, Leo mused on how he became their ‘Lord’, it has been years and yet he still could not pinpoint the exact reason that he was their lord; and he still could not stop Odin from calling him as such. “I, Odin Dark, the chosen one will punish you for your betrayal.”  And with an overdramatic twist of his hand, Odin pointed at Niles, as if trying to cast a curse upon his person.

To be honest, Leo sometimes finds Odin to be amusing.

 “It was only flirting, and besides it wasn’t as if I used our princess as leverage.” Niles chuckled as he saw the after mentioned ‘princess’ scowl. “Now shut up, you’re making us look as weird as you.”

“My Lord! This fiend—“

Leo sighed, “Odin, just drop it.” To be honest, his head was hurting, he only had four hours of sleep and Odin’s screeching was not helping him in the slightest. “And stop calling me ‘lord’, and may I remind you that this is no longer the Middle Ages.”

“But—“

“No.”

“You heard him, shut up already, or at least take your weirdness elsewhere.”

“You’re not helping Niles.”

If anyone were to judge their interaction, they would find that they were a dysfunctional trio. If Leo were to describe them, the first word that comes into mind was ‘Unique’. But, Leo knew that many find them to be somewhat – unsavoury, but it didn’t really matter to him. He found that he could trust them, and found that they would be loyal to him, they were a tight-knit group, and at times he dares to think that maybe they would always be.

_“No one likes you because you’re annoying. Go away.”_

_“But I thought we were friends—“_

_“No! Why would I be friends with someone like you—“_

Leo could only shake his head; it would not do well to recall empty memories. He stifled a yawn, as it was too early anyway for him to join the senseless banter. In fact, he noticed that Niles and Odin have already gone too far into their discussion, at first they were insulting (or as much insulting Odin could do with his ‘eccentric’ vocabulary) but now they seem to be sharing an inside joke and laughing together. Often times he finds that he was usually the butt of the joke, but he forgives them—mostly.

He stifled another yawn, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Suddenly there was a pause, and Leo wondered if Niles and Odin left, but before he could speak his mind, Niles spoke: “Hey, Leo, are you feeling alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he retort, looking at his friends and bristling slightly when he noticed they were looking at him worriedly.

He was fine.

“Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but you look rather tired milord.” Odin replied instead there was a slight frown on his face, which Leo was not accustomed to. “Would you require assistance of any kind? Potions to ease any pain of your head?”

“Tired? I feel fine.” 

“Weirdo is right, Leo, you have been looking like shit all week.”  Niles supplied, looking at him rather seriously, “Leo, it’s only been the first week of classes, but you look more tired than Odin and Me, and we’re already juniors.”

“This is college.” Was his snarky response, Leo wasn’t so sure where this was leading to, but he was too irate to even attempt to process the problem.

“And you’re only a sophomore.”

“And?”

“The point is: you are more fucking stressed than me and Odin.” Niles said, sighing slightly as he stared at his stubborn younger friend. “Look, I know you think you can handle everything, but don’t keel over.”

“This outlaw is correct my liege,” Odin added, and for emphasis, he placed a hand upon Leo’s shoulder, as if trying to give him support. “If you require any assistance, I shall fly to your side and give you even my very life. I live to serve you, milord.”

There was a chuckle, and Niles could only shake his head. “As much as I hate encouraging Odin’s twisted sense of speech, I agree; if you need anything tell us.”

It was quite comforting to be honest, and as much as he hated these type of ‘scenes’, he finds himself feeling genuinely grateful.

“Okay, enough, this got mushy way to fast.” Leo grumbled as he shook off Odin’s hand, however this time his face held a small smile. “I just tried to finish my book and didn’t sleep well last night; there is no need to fret.”

“At least take a nap tonight before you over work yourself.” Niles advised, “We don’t want our precious princess fainting so early in the week.”

Leo wasn’t so sure what his faced looked like, but based from the heat of his cheeks, he was sure it was as red as a tomato. “That was  _one_  time!” he snapped, huffing slightly and crossing his arms.

“And you had to be carried like a princess, I was a bit jealous since Corrin had to carry you like a knight in shining armo—“

“Niles, do us all a favour and shut up.”

“Speaking of lord Corrin,” Odin spoke, or more like yelled, as he pointed to a lone figure heading towards them, “He looks quite excited, perhaps he has finally learned how to transform into a dragon.”

“Odin, whatever it is you watch on T.V. I suggest you stop.” Niles remarked as he merely stared at the blond with a tired expression, “You sentences become weirder as the days past.”

“I think that is merely his default speech.” Leo added with a shrug, “I think it’s high time we become used to it.”

Niles could only shrug, and Odin only huffed in reply; at least Odin didn’t try to defend himself by demanding ‘retribution by duel’, that was Leo’s consolation. But, the next second he was distracted by Corrin, whose face is flushed and panting slightly. His unruly hair was in an even messier state, and Leo wondered if something was amiss for Corrin to run to them. In most cases, Corrin running means that he overslept and was late for class, but then he should be running towards his class and not the trio.

However, the bright smile on the older male’s lips speaks otherwise, and curiously he seems excited.

 “Good morning Corrin.” He greeted, instead of asking the first question that comes into mind which is ‘Why are you excited?’ it was rude and Leo would rather curse himself. “You seem quite happy.”

“Leo—morning.” He pants out his greeting, attempting to catch his breath. Odin offered his a bottle of water and Corrin could only mumble his thanks.  “Good morning Odin! Niles!”

“Greetings Lord Corrin, and you have such a large amount of jovial energy this fine morning.” Odin greeted back, his own bright smile on his lips.

“So, Corrin, what got you so excited this fine morning?” it was Niles who asked, and the sly smile on his face spoke volumes of what could come out his mouth next. “Are you going to tell us that you found someone to ‘de-stress ‘ yourself with?”

Corrin coughed, choking slightly as he was mid-swallow when Niles spoke, “N-Niles! That was inappropriate!” he scolded, but the flush on his face made him more comical that stern, “And of course I haven’t, nor will I ever consider that idea!”

There was an airy chuckled and Leo could only sighed at the smirk Niles shot at Corrin, “That is rather unfortunate, I wanted to hear the details of how our precious Corrin become undone.”

“NILES!”

“But if you wish to bed with some with more experience,” Niles continued, completely ignoring Corrin’s indignant squeak and Leo’s disapproving stare, “my offer still stands, and my bed awaits your arrival.”

Leo was certain that the red tint on Corrin’s cheeks will be difficult to erase, that is if he continues to be within the presence of Niles. Sometimes he wondered if being within the line of sight of Niles was healthy for Corrin’s  _delicate_ mind. Or at least, he wonders if Corrin could survive the flirting, well—then again they were used to his vulgar language anyway.

“Niles, that’s enough. Stop teasing the poor man.” Leo scolded, taking pity on the obviously shy and uncertain Corrin, Niles has that affect on people: either they become intimidated, shy, or angry around him. Corrin unfortunately was the second group, well, only when Niles decided to begin his  _sexual_  teasing.

“I apologize Corrin, as an apology I could offer you my—“

“Niles.” Leo pressed, and his flirtous friend merely mocked surrendered. Honestly, sometimes he wondered how they got along at all.

“Ah, but before Niles has taken the stage, Lord Corrin was about to share what made the brightest smile upon his face.” Odin piped, trying to defuse the tension (Sexual or awkward tension, Leo was not quite sure), “Tell us milord; share with us the news that has brought the brightest smiles from heaven.”

“Do tell us, we haven’t seen you in a week and you come running as if something good jus happened.”

Corrin chuckled slightly, “It’s nothing for the ‘brightest smiles from heaven’ to be brought.” He said, but the excited smile on his face has returned. “But, I already told you guys last month that my younger siblings are moving with me for a while. That’s why I kind of busy the whole week, my younger brother transferred here but there was some delay on the paperwork! But I just finished fixing it this morning and he’s starting his first day! ”

There was a moment of silence, before Odin erupted happily, “That is great milord, we have the privilege to meet with your dear siblings!”

“I’m happy for you Corrin,” Leo said sincerely, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder, “I know how much this means to you.”

“I missed them so much, but I wish the circumstances were different.” He answered, looking a bit dejected for a few second before forcing a grin upon his face, “But at least I get to spend time with two of my siblings.”

“Well as much as I would like to give you all a congratulatory hug,” Niles cut in, his voice playful as he gave Corrin a pat on the head, “Odin and me have to scat, we have class together and it starts in like ten minutes.” He sighed, “I would cut but—“

“Vile scoundrel! You attempt to abandon your duty, neigh! I will not allow such atrocities—“

“As you can see, I have my hands tied with trying to appease or shut him up.” Niles muttered, “I’ll see you later, and Leo make sure to eat. Congrats Corrin, see you soon.”

They were bickering as they left, or at least Odin was scolding Niles using his medieval language, while the other only shot him sarcastic remarks or insults. In either case, it was the usual friendly banter between them. Corrin could only chuckle, and comment how he wish those two would never change, silently Leo agreed with him. Odin and Niles may be a bit troublesome, but Leo could never want things to change between them.

“In any case, Leo, Nile said that you should make sure to eat,” Leo sighed; he knew the next question that was to come. “Have you been overworking yourself again?”

“I’m fine Corrin.” He reassured, appeasing the other with a soft smile, “I stayed up late to finish a report but that was it.”

Corrin only nodded. But his face still held a hint of worry. “If you’re tired, don’t hesitate to rest, okay. We worry about you.”

“I’m fine, stop coddling me. It was bad enough in highschool.” Leo muttered, but he knew he was loud well enough to be heard. “I’m grateful that you watch out for me, but really now, I ‘am not a child and this is embarrassing.”

Corrin didn’t reply right away, rather his eyes were boring into his own, as making sure that whatever Leo said was the truth. Finally, Corrin’s face broke into a small smile, “Okay, I’m sorry. We just worry—I just worry.” His face was sincere as he spoke, eyes bright and staring at right in the eyes, “I think of you like my little brother. I worry, and I know I can’t always treat you like my junior, but know that I will always be here for you.”

“Thank you  _brother_ , but I must request we stop this mushy scene before everything become pile of goo.” Leo replied jokingly, teasing Corrin slightly by placing emphasis on the word ‘brother’.

Corrin could only laugh, but did drop the subject by talking about his sibling instead. However, Leo noticed that Corrin had grabbed him hand, holding unto it gently as if trying to reassure him that he was always there. Leo couldn’t help but smile, Corrin had that affect on people. They make them feel at ease, and lighter. At first, Leo envied that of the older teen and attempted to avoid him, but the other showed to be stubborn, always trying to be friend the blonde.

_‘No one would want to be friends with—‘_

“Oh! My younger brother is about your age! I’ll introduce you to him!” he heard Corrin say cheerfully, snapping Leo from his line of thought. “You guys are quite alike and I bet you would get along!”

“I haven’t met the male and you already think we’d get along.” Leo replied. “He might find me unsatisfactory, or it may as well become the other way around.”

“No! I’m sure of it! You two will be like two peas in a pod!”  Corrin says, with conviction, “You’ll become best friends that you won’t even need me anymore!”

_‘No one will be friends—‘_

“Don’t be silly,” Leo mutters, “and to appease your unsettled mind, I will only say this once: You’ll always be one of my best friends.”

_‘No one will be friends with the likes of you’_

Sometimes, Leo wondered why the voice in his head would not leave him alone. But when Corrin smiled at him, he felt that everything would be alright; because he knew no matter what, there will always be someone there for him.

Someone to have his back.

* * *

It was during his first day of History class that suddenly the voices were taunting him even more. It was the last day of the week, and Leo was hoping that his only subjects of the day—namely Philosophy and History, would be his saving grace. He always prided himself in his interest within the knowledge of the old and wise, he finds that history and philosophy were the starting points of man’s intellectual and cultural growth. The knowledge from the earliest histories were no discarded but rather used as reference point, as many thinkers would say ‘history repeats itself’ so why not learn from it.

And he found that his own history was catching up to him, and may even be the cause of his slow demise.

Seated on front row of the class was someone he had hoped to never see, someone he had wanted to forget.  He could still recognize the silver coloured hair; however, now it is longer in length, and tied into a long ponytail. He could also still recognize the earthen coloured eyes; those same eyes that glared at him in disgust and hatred. They weren’t filled with any emotions, and yet they seem almost unseeing, and yet somehow Leo found that he could not breathe—

_‘It would be better if you just—‘_

When the earthen coloured eyes shifted to his own, he could only recoil. Although they were dull, and only filled with curiosity now that he realized the blonde was staring at him, Leo couldn’t find it in himself to keep staring. It has been far too long hasn’t it? He asked himself, but instead of entertaining his own question, he averted his eyes and marched towards the middle of room; he wanted to be seated away from the other, it would not do well to have his trigger near him. It was better, to avoid him, because Leo was not so sure that he could keep his cool, or his temper in check.

It has been years, but he still managed to keep his childish resentment and grudge alive.

And all it took, was to see the cause—

Somehow, he felt some kind of sinking feeling within his chest, and that this year would bring too much problems within his way. As he shifted his eyes to glance at the student in the front row, he couldn’t help but recall how those eyes glared at him all those years ago. The voiced that said hate filled words at him, betrayal and resentment among the other things reflecting in his eyes, and the hands that once pushed him—

Their eyes met again, and Leo found himself lost in them. The earthen coloured orbs were boring into him, and he could only stare, searching for the harshness that he was used to seeing in his memories. There was none, and that surprised him slightly. However, a second later the other merely scoffed, and gave him a small glare, which made Leo glare back. But when he turned away, he couldn’t help but notice that the glare was not as intense nor hateful as he remembered. Almost as if, it was only telling him to ‘back off’.

Even when the room started to fill with more students, even when the professor arrived and started his introduction and lecture, Leo couldn’t help but be distracted with the circumstance that had befallen onto him. It bothered him and to some degree he dreaded it, it felt too surreal. A number of times he has to stop himself from turning his eyes towards the back of the other male’s head, to stare at the long ponytail that was new and yet familiar to him.

_He sat beside someone in class, silver hair tied into a short ponytail. At first they didn’t speak, but then they were laughing, and those earthen coloured eyes were staring at him. The smile on the other’s face as he pointed unto his own nametag on the uniform; the flower shaped tag was colour green, for boys. And it read: Taku—_

“Right, as this is the first day of our class I would not be giving you any assignments.” Suddenly the voice of the professor brought him out of his day dream, and he noted that unconsciously he was staring at him again. “Now, you are free to go! Next week we will cover the first chapter of your next books! And again, Welcome to Valla University.”

Automatically, he found himself collecting his things and refusing to stare at the silver haired student. Maybe he could attempt to ignore his whole existence; it would be better that way, they did not need to even speak together anyway. As soon as he has everything in his bag, he marched out of the room, hurrying away especially when he felt those eyes boring into the back of his head.

Leo knew it was  _him_  who was staring at him; he didn’t know why but he just knew.

He was tempted to turn back, but the voice in his head was laughing at him, and he decided he couldn’t deal with this right now.

He couldn’t deal with him right now.

* * *

 

Corrin has always been his source of comfort whenever he was stressing over something during school hours. It wasn’t as if he told him anything, but rather, the silver haired male seems to always notice if there was something wrong. The older student once told him it was because Leo was always calm, but whenever something was amiss, he had small tics into his behaviour. Although he hid it well, Corrin commented that whenever he was upset he was more sullen, and sometimes bound to silence.

That’s why, thirty minutes into his lunch break, Corrin was coddling him. Slowly, Leo was growing irate at the constant smothering, and he did voice his irritation, but the other merely continued to ask him what was wrong, if he needed something, or if he was feeling well. In all honestly, Leo merely wanted to avoid this situation, and this treatment. It was only unfortunate that Odin and Niles did not share the same lunch hour as he did. That leaves him stuck with Corrin, and his constant coddling.

“Corrin, for the last time, I'm fine.” He sighed as the older asked him again if he was feeling unwell, “I’m already in sophomore year; I do not need you to treat me as if I cannot handle myself.”

Corrin scratched the back of his head, “I know, but Leo, you’re my best friend, I want to at least make sure you’re alright.” He said, smiling sheepishly as he did, “And I always thought of you like a little brother.”

“Your siblings are studying here, are they not? Then I suggest you coddle them.” Leo replied in both irritation, and embarrassment. He always disliked these sorts of cheesy, cuddly, little displays of affection, especially in public. “This is embarrassing; being taken care of by someone only a year older than I.”

“But, you’re so cute, you need to be protected.” Corrin replied in a teasing voice, grinning widely, “And we fear that you will faint—“

“Stop bringing that up!” Leo snapped, blushing furiously and scowling as he heard Corrin chuckling at his response. “I swear, the three of you are worse than my sister.” He swore that one day he would get them back for that.

“You have to admit, it was cute how you fainted.” Corrin continued, completely ignoring the glare sent his way, “Though, I’m still worried about your health.”

“I was a freshman. Please stop reminiscing about that day.”

“That’s why I have to take care of you! I’m older, and your pseudo older brother!”

“Corrin, that is not how that works!”

“But I—!” Suddenly Corrin paused, and Leo briefly wondered what he was about to say, but instead the older of the two cupped his hands to his mouth, and—“TAKUMI! OVER HERE!”

_Takumi—_

His head turned too quickly for his liking, towards the direction that Corrin was yelling at, even waving happily at. He was silently hoping, that maybe it was someone else, that it was not who he dread it to be. But the Gods seem to be laughing at his misfortune. His breath hitched when his eyes met familiar brown orbs. Duly he noted that the other’s hair blew with the slight breezed as he moved towards them. Somehow, he felt like a child again, he wanted to scream—a greeting or insult, he didn’t know, but he wanted to say something, anything towards the other male.

His voice died in his throat, and all he could do was stare, in both surprise and dread.

“Leo! That is my little brother! The one I was talking about earlier.” He could hear Corrin speak, but his attention was divided, mostly because the silver haired male was walking towards them. “I asked him to meet us during his break, he said that he has the same lunch hour as us and I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to introduce you two!” he continued to babble, ignorant of the conflict the light haired male felt.

_‘—you do not belong here—‘_

He shook his head, trying to repress the memories that were attempting to resurface. He didn’t need them right now, nor will he ever need them. What he needs now is to calm his beating heart; ‘ _reason over emotions’_ , he chanted in his mind in attempt to control his mind.  However, his eyes remained glued to the familiar male that was now standing beside their bench, equally staring at him with an unreadable expression. He could hear Corrin introducing them, and Leo could only nod in greeting.

He was not prepared, but it doesn’t mean he would make a fool of himself.

“As Corrin has said, my name is Leo. Leo Windmire” He said calmly, offering a small but forced smile, “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

He,  _Takumi,_  only stared at him—or to be precise, scowling at him. “You’re in my History class.” He stated plainly, disinterested as if he would rather be somewhere else. “Listen, I don’t know what my delusional brother thinks, but I won’t make friends with you just because he said so.”

“Takumi!” Corrin whined, “Be nice! And besides, you don’t have to be rude.”

“As if his staring wasn’t rude.” The silver haired male muttered, “Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I won’t be goody-goody just because brother thinks we should get along.”

In all honesty, Leo should have expected such behaviour, but one thing was bothering him—Takumi was talking as if he never met him before. There was no hint of recognition whatsoever. Maybe Leo was wrong, and this was not the person who he thought it was. But, the face, even if it has changed drastically, was still recognizable. And that name, admittedly it could be possible they only share the same name, but the coincidence was too uncanny.

He didn’t know if it was a blessing, or a bad omen that the other doesn’t seem to recognize him at all.

“I would think that your brother and I would come into an agreement.” Leo suddenly spoke, halting Corrin who was scolding his own sibling lightly. “I do not think I could get along with your brother as well.”

Corrin blinked slowly before sighing, “I’m sorry about his attitude, he could be such a brat sometimes,” Ignoring the indignant ‘hey!’ that came from his sibling, he continued, “He’s having a hard time--.”

“You don’t need to find friend for me as if playing match-maker.” Takumi cut in venomously, glaring at Corrin with irritation. “I’m fine, and besides your friend looks as if he’s too good to be friends with me.”

“Takumi! Leo, I’m so sorry, but give him a chance, he’s actually a good kid, friendly, and even loyal. Just let him warm up to you.”

Leo could only stare at the silver haired male quietly, assessing him and pondering what would be the best course of action for himself. For some reason, he felt compelled to reach out, or attempt to try, but immediately he squashed the childish longing, and instead, said with finality: “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could ever get along with someone like him.”

“ _For more reasons than one._ ” Was left unsaid, but neither of the two would know what was in his thoughts, the turmoil and resentment he held. They would never know, and he would be glad to keep these thoughts at bay.

“At least we can agree on something.” Takumi spoke, crossing his arms and glaring at the blonde, “I would die before getting along with you.”

“Likewise.” Leo spoke, “We have come to an agreement, and most likely our last.”

_‘I will never be friends with the likes of you!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned I will post the clarifications after the final chapter, to avoid spoilers.
> 
> But I have to mention these at least:
> 
> 1\. The italics are like flash backs, or when sudden memories suddenly flash before your eyes, Similar with the voices Leo hears on occasions (it's not him being Schizophrenic) but kinda like when you suddenly remember something and it just pops into your head. Kinda like Last song Syndrome--
> 
> 2\. The Lastnames? Well, Takumi's surname was from Ryouma's Japanese Seiyuu, while I just used the Capital of Nohr for Leo's (I couldn't find a good surname unfortunately--and well 'Windmire' does sound like a last name ahaha) Corrin doesn't share Takumi's last name, and I didn't put in what it could be-- 
> 
> 3\. There might be some typos, I'm sorry, but I can't see or read proper;y for some reason and yet the doctors say I can't have glasses and that my vision is fine. I would greatly appreciate it if someone would mention any :)
> 
> thank your for reading


	2. Chapter 2: A shift of perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partnered for a new project, they may learn something new; not just something related to their history lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to fix some of the Typos in the first chapter. I'm pretty sure there will be some in this chapter as well. I apologize for them, and please be patient with me.
> 
> This fic is actually finished, and the only reason I'm not posting all the chapters immediately was because I'm still looking out for typos and stuff. Also, I wanted to see the reception of the fic.
> 
> A friendly reminder that I'm not very good with English.
> 
> PS. To those who commented in the previous chapter, thank you for the support. Also, special thanks to the person who pointed out my typo

They continued like that for days, rarely speaking to each other and refusing to even greet one another.

To Leo’s dismay, Takumi was in most of his classes, as if History itself wasn’t ruined. Later that afternoon, after their first meeting, he found out Takumi was in the same Philosophy class. As the other preferred to sit in the front row, Leo avoided him by sitting at the middle; as if distance could somehow make the situation brighter. His only consolation was that he enjoyed philosophy, and maybe that would distract him from the other.

That was his last class for the day, and for the week; a lot of people disliked classes that lasted 3 hours a day, but the consolation was that it was only once a week. Majority of his classes were like that, some weren’t even once a week but twice. Both his family and friend commented on his busy workload, worrying over him, but he brushed off their concerns. He assures them that he could handle his classes, he  _will_ handle his classes.

It was only unfortunate that Takumi was in most of them; aside from History and Philosophy, he found out by the third week of classes that Takumi was also in his Psychology, Biology, and Politics. He only had 8 subjects that semester, and he was not all pleased that Takumi was in five of them. But, at least they don’t talk to each other. It made the subjects a bit more bearable, even if the other male was within the vicinity.

However, there are times that there gazes would meet. Mostly, Leo would unconsciously find his eyes shifting towards the other’s direction, staring at him for a few moments before catching himself as averting his gaze. Other times, he would feel someone staring at him, and when looks up, he could find that Takumi was staring at him. Whenever that would happen he would avert his gaze, trying to concentrate on the lecture, trying to block away Takumi entirely.

The only problem was that Corrin—ever stubborn Corrin— took it as his responsibility to invite Takumi with them; whether it was a study session, or for lunch. The silver haired male explained that he didn’t want his younger brother alone and with no friends. It was a temporary solution until Takumi could find his own companions. Also, he still held a small hope that Leo and Takumi would get along. One consolation was that Niles didn’t take a liking to Takumi either, and Odin—was Odin...

It was during their fourth History session that his relative peace was crumbling.

“Class, since a month has passed, I have decided to give you a research assignment.” Their professor announced, ten minutes before the end of class. The class groaned, and Leo sighed as he thought of his rising workload. “Don’t fret; it’s a pair project, so I’ll be assigning you into pairs. You will be doing a research on the history of Hishido, Nohr, Valla, or the war of Fates. I will leave you to your own digression on what topic you will focus on. But, I would expect a 15 paged term paper, and a presentation before your midterm exams. Do you have any questions?”

“Do we get to choose our partners?” one of his classmates asked, and Leo wasn’t so sure he liked that idea. There wasn’t anyone he was relatively close with. Most of his acquaintances and friends didn’t take history, or took history beforehand. All he can do was pair with anyone who was also left out.

He hoped that it wasn’t Takumi however.

“Sorry, but I will be assigning your partners for this project.” Their professor answered, completely ignoring the groans and disappointed moans from half the class. “This is to ensure that you work productively, also it would at least allow you the experience to work with others outside of your peer circle.”

 Soon he pulled out his notepad and started reading off the list of students along with their partners; ignoring the grumbled complaints of those that did not get their preferred partner. There weren’t a lot of students anyway, from what Leo assessed in the room, it would seem only few took this class this year, it was a bit unsettling that his name was not yet called. So was Takumi’s—

And then he felt it, someone was staring at him, and when he shifted his eyes towards the general direction of the stare, he didn’t need confirmation. It was Takumi who was staring at him, watching, gauging, and analyzing him. Their eyes met, and neither pulled away immediately; Leo found himself lost in those brown orbs that were absent of their usual hostility—

_Brown eyes were staring at him filled with happiness, a bell like laughter left the young boys lips and Leo heard himself laugh as well. He sounded younger, childish, but happy. Both their uniforms were dirty as his small hands reached for the other’s hair, combing through the short ponytail—_

“Takumi Nakamura and Leo Windmire.”

_What?!_

Both their heads snapped towards their professor, looking at him with disbelief in their eyes. But it seems that they didn’t hear wrong; the professor continued to call on the students, unaware of the turmoil he just created. Leo sighed; it was just his luck that ends up paired with the last person he wanted. As his gaze shifted towards the person in question, he could assume he felt the same way, as those brown orbs are now glaring at him as if it was his fault. He could only glare back and scoff, he was far too tired of this.

“This paper will be considered as your midterms, you won’t be having an exam but I expect that your papers should be submitted by then. Am I clear?” their professor instructed, leaving Leo to swear under his breath as his luck seems to be getting worse. “Now class, I leave the rest of the period for you to talk and plan with your partner. I expect that you will get along, and no changing of partners!”

He refused to approach him, not even when he heard the chairs scrapping the floor as some students went to approach their chosen partners. He remained seated, troubled as to what he should do. It would seem the other had a similar idea and was stiffly seated. The blond could only sigh in frustration; this was childish, even for himself. He had a choice, whether he could be stubborn about this, or he can be the one to approach.

Should he stoop to the same level of the stubborn brat?

He could only silently curse himself as he stood up, breathing slowly to calm himself. It would do him no good if he continued to be childish about this; it was all in the past. This was just a group project, he does not need to get along with Takumi or to be friends, and all he needs is cooperation until they finish with their paper. With that in mind, he approached the stubborn male; in all honesty, he was expecting words of hate, or at least a childish demand to be left along and the refusal to cooperate with the project. What surprised him however was that Takumi only sighed and pointed to the vacant seat beside him.

“Look, I know we will never get along.” Takumi started calmly, almost tiredly, “but, even if we both act like stubborn brats we will fail this subject.”

“I would have to agree.” Leo automatically replied, crossing his arms almost sulkily, “In either case, I was hoping to do the topic on the ‘War of Fates’, I would assume less people would take that topic as they would prefer to avoid more workload.”

“Yeah, and War of Fates covers up all three nations. That was what I was thinking.” Takumi said, slightly surprising the blond as he assumed the other would have preferred a simpler topic. “I also have some books related to that.”

“Ah, I guess I should bring my own collection of history books, I have quite a few that circulate the war, along with the relation of all three countries.”

Takumi blinked in surprise, “Wait? You like this sort of things to?”

“Yes, I was quite interested in history, especially in studying their tactics and strategies.” Leo replied, smiling slightly as he took the interest Takumi was displaying. “I’m also interested in the Philosophy of war; in fact, I also have quite a few books on that.”

“Coincidentally, I also have a sizable collection of Philosophy books.” The other muttered, “I took that course because of personal interest.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Wait—did you take that subject for that same reason?”

“I might have...”

“Well, this is now awkward—.”

“Indeed...”

To be honest, Leo was quite flabbergasted on the new development. It would seem they carry the same interest, and prefer similar subjects. He was willing to bet that Takumi also took some of his shared classes with Leo due to his own personal interest as well. He wouldn’t have imagined that there will be a small chance that they could get along, especially with their current predicament. In fact, he was sure that any attempt of them getting along would be crumbled before their feet because of who they are.

And yet, as they sat in relative silence, Leo couldn’t help but smile slightly—

_‘No! The dragon is blue not white!’_

_‘I said silver not white!’_

_And then they laughed, two children who were merely enjoying the summer drawing on the pavement using chalk. They always did love dragons._

“This is nice once in a while.” He muttered to himself. It was an unconscious action, a slip of a tongue. But he heard himself, and he blushed slightly, hoping the other hadn’t heard.

“Yeah, it’s kinda difficult to dislike someone who shares the same interest.” He heard Takumi answer him, and Leo’s eyes widened as he saw the sincere smile on the other’s lips.

“Right.” Leo conceded, although hesitantly, “However, it would seem that time is running out.” He pointed, looking at his watch as he realized there is only five minutes left until they were dismissed. “Maybe we should discuss on where and when we should begin our research, although we might have two months left but I prefer that we use our time wisely.”

“Back to business in a heartbeat,” Leo raised a brow at the comment, wasn’t it the other teen that wanted things to be done quickly? “No wonder you don’t have any friends?”

“I do have friends.” Leo replied stiffly, “You however barely talked to anyone as far as I know.”

“How would you know?”

“Corrin.”

“God damn it!”

Although they found themselves arguing; Leo couldn’t help but feel a bit light hearted. This felt more like banter than an actual argument. Albeit, some insults were thrown into the mix, however, he found that the air didn’t feel quite as tense. And he could feel himself relaxing slightly; it felt surreal, as if they didn’t agree to dislike each other. It was kind of, wistful, in a way as he knew they would go back to how they were soon after. But for now, he felt that he deserved these moments of peace.

When class dismissed, Leo and Takumi came to an agreement to do their work at the blonds’ home. The silver haired male admitted that he was uncomfortable working at home where his brother would no doubt distract them; Leo could agree, as Corrin would have attempted to play host and most likely bother them (Leo) asking if they needed anything. It wasn’t as if they disliked Corrin, but the constant coddling could be tiring. Leo has two older siblings to do that, he does not need a third.

Somehow, their relationship improved a bit. Although Takumi did not join Corrin and himself at lunch hour, when he arrived for their Philosophy class, the long-haired male offered him a stiff but polite nod in greeting. Naturally he did the same, but this time throwing him a small smile. It was a small change, but nonetheless, Leo couldn’t help but feel that something was changing; whether good or bad.

But at the back of his mind, he knew he had small doubts. There was worry gnawing at him whenever he thought of the other. A small hint of longing, mixed with a hint of apprehension. But he tired to ignore those feelings, attempting instead to think more positively or at least calmly about the situation at hand.

That night,  however, he had a dream.

_It was slightly blurred, distorted, and bright, but he heard voices and laughter. Children, running around, chasing each other, laughing and playing ‘tag’ without a care in the world. The child he was chasing had silver hair that was tied into a short ponytail. They were both wearing green shirts, with a flower sticker at the right of the chest; bearing their names._

_‘Leo! Leo! Hurry! I’ve come to show you something!’_

_Suddenly the colours mashed together, distorting until he couldn’t make out the shape. It was an eyesore, but the child before him grew suddenly. He looks to be eight or so, wearing shorts and a collared shirt. His ponytail was a bit longer, reaching his shoulders. He blinked only for a second and their surroundings were suddenly clear. They were at the top of some slide; he could hear the laughter of other children at the base of it._

_‘What did I do wrong?’ he heard himself ask, ‘I thought we were friends!’_

_‘What friends?’ the other scoffed, ‘No one likes you because you’re annoying! So go away!’_

_‘But I thought we were friends!’ Leo cried his voice high and whiny. He knew he had tears in his eyes but he refuse to let them fall._

_‘No! Why would I be friends with someone like you!’_

_Suddenly he was falling, as if the floor he was standing on caved in. He heard a yell, but it wasn’t name, but rather the distorted voice of the other child yelling: NO ONE WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH THE LIKES OF YOU!_

_‘It would be better if you disappeared!’_

_And he was falling—disappearing—_

When his alarm broke him out of the daze and fright of the nightmare early that morning, Leo could only wipe the tears away from his face. It was only a dream, it was over, it was done. They can forget about everything and move on; at least that’s what he wanted to believe. But he also knew that the memory would haunt him until he could find peace with it. But it was too difficult—

The one he knew was supposed to have his back, betrayed him...

* * *

That weekend, when Takumi came over, Leo could only feel dread within himself. It felt strange to have the other enter his territory, especially after the dream he had the previous evening. But, he also found himself longing for the times when everything was just simple. In a sense, he also wanted some form of reconciliation, and yet, he also feared that things would not be that simple. Not when he was still troubled by their past and it was only Leo that remembers.

“Nice place.” Takumi commented, rather awkwardly, almost as if he was not sure how to behave, “Is your family home?”

“No, my older brother has work, and my sisters went shopping.” He replied as he moved towards the kitchen, gesturing for his guest to follow. “Do you want anything to drink, tea perhaps?”

“I’m fine, let’s just start on this project.” The other declined, politely Leo would add, “We’ll deal with food at lunch. I just had breakfast so I’m good.”

“Right, just make yourself comfortable in the living room; it’s just right out the door. Let me just grab my laptop.”

They spent the late morning in relative peace after that. Leo showed Takumi the books he mentioned, and the other brought his own set, including several books on the old Philosophy of Nohr. It was interesting to say the least, and Leo found himself laughing a few times along with Takumi as they made comments on some of the info they found in the internet. They shared ideas and arguments over certain topics, and they found, to their surprise that they mostly share the same views.

In all honestly, Leo rarely felt this sort of calm and— dare he say, happiness. It wasn’t that he was never happy, but rather, not many share similar interests with him. His older siblings were too busy with their lives and work, while his little sister would rather play tea parties than discuss olden histories and philosophies. Niles would most likely fall asleep, and Corrin was not at all interested. Odin only shares his interest with old occult and witchcraft, but not the interest in history and philosophy. Takumi however, not only shares his interests, but is also quite fun to talk with. Surprisingly.

“So at least we have an outline now.” The shorter of the two muttered as he looked at the laptop screen, “We can look into these books and highlight or write down important notes.”

“I would agree, and maybe we can also see if we can find old archives in the library.” Leo suggested, looking over the other’s shoulders. The silver strands were brushing his face, and the unbidden thought of combing them was pushed away. “We need more reference.”

“Yeah, but for now I think we need a break.” Takumi muttered, his eyes shifting towards the time on the screen, “It’s almost one p.m., we missed lunch.”

“Ah.” The blonde blinked as he looked at the time as well. He didn’t notice that the time flew as they discussed their project. Wasn’t there and old saying: ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’? “I’ll make us some lunch. I hope you’ll be fine with beef stew, that’s what I was planning on making this afternoon.”

“We can always order take out.” The other suggested, shrugging slightly as he looked back to the blond, “You don’t have to trouble yourself for me.”

“Nonsense. Besides, beef stew is my favourite, so it wasn’t like I was troubling myself for you.”

“Right, always the courteous host aren’t you.” The other commented sarcastically, scowling slightly as he shifted his gaze back to the laptop. “You know, if you weren’t so tight-ass maybe you would get a girlfriend or so.”

“Kindly keep your comments to yourself before I decide that I would cook you.”

“Cannibal.” Takumi muttered as Leo left for the kitchen; however it was still loud and clear.

Pausing mid-step, the blonde turned his head slightly to the silver haired male, “Nonsense, I’m feeding you to the dogs; you would taste horrible on human palate.” Then he threw him a small smirk, “And I dislike the taste of pineapple.”

Leo avoided the book thrown in his way, and he chuckled at the other was yelling about his hair ‘not being a goddamn pineapple—get back here you Nohrian scum!’

“This is fun.” Leo couldn’t help but say to himself as he prepared to cook their overdue lunch. “If only, some things last longer.”

It was wistful thinking in his part. It was something that couldn’t come true; there were things that stand in the way for them to get along. Furthermore, Leo couldn’t help that it was an unhealthy longing he felt for the other. A longing that should have been buried long ago, something that he should have grown out of. But he theorized, it mixed with his resentment, and may have morphed into a twisted sense of hope. It was new and nostalgic, sad and joyous. He could feel his heart picking up, and his mind racing; the voices were mixing together, the memories morphing and twisting, until he couldn’t find the right path to follow. To hold onto the petty resentment or to make amends even if the other could not recall their past.

“Oi! What the hell are you doing?!”

He didn’t realized he became lost in thought, in fact, he didn’t even realize when Takumi entered the kitchen. His eyes were staring at him in concern as the other was holding his hand; that was when Leo realized that he was bleeding from a small cut on his finger. The other could only sigh and drag the absent-minded blonde to the sink, attempting to wash away the blood.

“Where is the first aid kit?” Takumi asked as he placed the wound under the tap of water, “Can I trust you not to hurt yourself when I get it?”

“It’s under the sink.” The blonde replied, scoffing at the last comment, “and I will be fine, I was just lost in thought.”

Takumi only sighed as he bent down to retrieve the first aid, Leo could only feel mortification and embarrassment having to be caught distracted whist cooking. “I’m not much of a vampire, but hopefully your blood hasn’t ruined the vegetables.”

“I can chop new ones. I would think there are still some ingredients in the fridge.”

“Don’t waste the food.” The other scolded as he finally located the medical supplies. Surprisingly gentle, he took hold of the other’s hand and bringing it closer to himself. “I don’t think it’s a deep wound anyway. You don’t need stitches; that’s for sure.” He inspected, looking at the wound closely to himself before pulling out a handkerchief to dry it off.

Leo could only blush and scowl, silently cursing himself for his own negligence. “I’m fine, and don’t use that, my blood will stain.”

Takumi only shrugged as he continued to treat the wound, applying some disinfectant which made Leo hiss. “I needed your blood to curse you anyway. Two birds in one stone.”

“Very funny, your sense of humour is truly remarkable.” Was Leo’s sarcastic reply, giving the other a cool look, “truly, you should be a comedian, it would suit you.”

“Heh, at least I can be sure you actually have a sense of humour.” Was the other’s come back. He wrapped the wound with the first available bandage he could find, however he had to grin as he saw the design. “Smiley faces? Really?”

“This is my little sister’s first aid kit!”Leo defensively hissed, blushing more furiously, “She is the one most likely to get injured while cooking.”

“You aren’t any better.”

“I was distracted.”

Takumi could only shake his head “Look, I would ask you what’s bothering you, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t say anything.” The blonde’s eyes widened slightly, it was as if Takumi knew him well. “Let’s just make Lunch, I’m hungry and it’s already half past one—and you’re not allowed near the knives.”

And with a playful scoff, Leo found himself smiling as the silver haired male gave him a mock scolding look. They’ve set up a silent agreement then, Takumi was in charge of chopping the vegetables and the meat, while Leo was the one that preheated the pan, and went through the spices and condiments. Soon, they were laughing and bantering in the kitchen. They teased each other relentlessly, although some insults were thrown the mix, it wasn’t harsh, but rather a playful throw of words.

There was something shifting between them, and Leo understood that things were changing. Maybe there was room to hope; Takumi had jokingly said that ‘if either of them dies then one of them poisoned the stew’, and although it was morbid humour, he said it without any hint of malice. What warmed his heart though, was when Takumi took a bite of their lunch, and commented that he liked the taste, promising Leo that he would let him try some ‘Me-suo soup’, whenever he would visit them.

_There were children laughing, poking fun at each other, the blonde offered a piece of his cake, and the silver haired child leaned forward and took a bite from the offered sweet. And they were giggling again, and this time it was the silver haired boy that offered the other some of his ‘dang-go’._

Long after Takumi left, that evening, Leo dreamt of laughing children, rather than words of hatred and betrayal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I said I would post clarifications at the final chapter, I decided to just do it chapter by chapter. If there are any.
> 
> 1\. Yes. I didn't bother making a new world/setting, but just think of it as the future of the game or something.


	3. Chapter 3: Unconscious recollections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on, haunted by both your memories and the unconscious desire to recall the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, didn't post anything in a while since I had no access to a laptop. I would post from my phone but I don't have a copy of the fic in google drive nor in my phone.
> 
> This is more of a filler chapter. We are at least slowly getting the image that something happened in the past. Aside from that, I can't say.
> 
> Edited: I edited the chapter. Saw some mistakes, I might post the other chapter after doing a triple check and some editing.

It was during the half of the third month of the semester that Corrin noticed a difference into Takumi and Leo’s relationship. Or, at least, that was what he was implying, especially with a wide grin on his face when he asked both of them if they were finally warming up to each other. Leo and Takumi could only blush in embarrassment when Niles pointed out that what Corrin said could have had a double meaning, and the proceeded to ask if they did ‘ _warm up_  to each other or more precisely into  _each other’s beds_.’

They were not sure which to deny then: that weren’t friends, or that they weren’t _friends_  with benefits.

In either case, Leo found himself wishing he could hide in shame, and wishing he could murder Niles for his comment.

Admittedly however, there was a slight change in their relationship since that day Takumi came over for their research project. They were almost complete with it actually; they merely need to finish planning out their presentation and making the slide show. During the period, both sophomores would meet up occasionally to do their research, in between that and Leo’s other college related work, he found that he relaxes more whenever in the presence of the other’s company. And somehow, they began to get along, or at least as close to getting along as they could.

It was during their research that he learnt more about the other student; his hobbies, interests, the sports he plays, and even his skills in art. It was kind of strange, in way, as he couldn’t have pictured them to share personal information. In fact, he was certain that they would not get along, or even speak to each other for the duration of their college lives (if Takumi would remain studying in Nohr—if he does not plan to return to Hoshido). But, as he reflects on it now, it would seem that he was quite wrong.

That’s precisely how he found himself that afternoon, Takumi seated beside him on his bed, his laptop opened and showing them their typed up paper, another window holds the draft of their presentation. Usually, they did their work in the living room, or the kitchen table, but his little sister had her own guests over, and they were doing their group project, taking over the living room as a result, and as the kitchen connects to the living room, they decided to avoid it as well, as the laughter and screeching of highschool girls would distract them.

(It was no offence to Elise’s batch of friends, but he didn’t want to deal with their ‘admiring gazes’ as well, and when they saw Takumi, he was sure he saw hearts in their eyes)

“I think we should also mention about the myth of the dragons.” Takumi suggested as he scrolled through their report, “It was the myth that affected the war after all.”

“I guess we should also mention the story of Princess Kamui, and how it was believed she was blessed by the dragons.” Leo added as he looked over the other’s shoulder, “That was what brought the belief in the dragon veins within all three countries.”

“Yeah, at least it could show how the war affects the cultural and traditional beliefs of the people.”

“Well, we only have thirty minutes for the report, but I guess we can only briefly mention them as we have already written it down on the first part of our actual paper.”

“Yeah, yeah, for now let’s take a break.” Takumi sighed as he stretched his arms above his head, before dropping himself on the mattress, “We’ve been at this for hours.” And the blond was sure that the other was whining.

“Yes, yes, you complete barbarian, we can take a break.” Leo replied, chuckling at the other’s glare, “well, you did lay down without permission, that is a bit barbaric don’t you agree?”

“I will remember that when you come over and then nap on my bed, again.” And Takumi smirked when saw Leo blushing furiously, “Not so polite now, aren’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“Although, you do look tired,” Leo blinked at the offhanded comment, but as he turned his gaze towards his classmates, he found that the other was staring at him with a small frown. “Maybe you should rest as well, I mean, I did notice that you seem a bit overworked, but sometimes Corrin would rant about your health—.”

“I’m fine.” Leo replied automatically, it was the usual inquiry of his health. “It is almost mid-terms, the work load was simply overwhelming.”

“Come of it, we have five of the same subjects, and you always seem to look tied as hell.” Takumi shot back, “I know the workload, and I’m doing fine. You however look as if you rarely got any sleep.”

“I’m fine. I’m just busy with reviewing my notes and making sure to refresh my knowledge.” Leo replied, “and I’m not a fan of cramming, I try to finish my projects in the soonest time possible, thus I can have the remainder of the time allotted to revise and improve my work.”

“You got to be kidding me?” Takumi muttered in disbelief, “Look, even I don’t like cramming, but I don’t over work myself like that! That’s why you have the ‘allotted time’ to pace yourself!”

If the blatant scolding hadn’t baffled the blond, then Takumi’s next action did. He rose himself slightly, and wrapped his arms around the blonde’s waist and pulling him backward until Leo landed on the bed as well. He could feel his face heating up, even when Takumi finally released him and turned to his own side. They lay vertically on the bed, their feet reaching the floor as they were only sitting up moments ago. The blond could only stare at the back of his classmate’s head, in utter shock and embarrassment.

“Let’s be clear that I don’t care if you pass out due to exhaustion.” Takumi muttered, finally breaking the silence. He was refusing to look his way and yet Leo could see the tip of his ear reddening, “But if you keel over during our presentation, that would look bad on me.”

“I never knew you actually cared.” Leo muttered, huffing slightly in embarrassment, but he could feel his eyes dropping slightly, as if suddenly his body was giving in to the exhaustion.

“I don’t, I told you, I need you in top shape for the presentation.” He heard Takumi reply, vaguely, he saw the other turn to face him, giving him a stern look. “And you can barely keep your eyes open, just sleep. We can have an hour to rest anyway since we’re ahead of our work.”

“And how can I trust you not to kill me in my sleep?” Leo shot weakly, stifling a yawn, but his eye lids were fluttering and he could feel his body relaxing unconsciously.

“One, I’ll be sleeping too.” Was what the other replied, “Second, I can’t kill you until our presentation is over.”

But, the blond wasn’t listening, as the low voice was lulling him to sleep. It could have been due to tiredness or sleep deprivation, but as he close his eyes and gave in into his weakness, he could have sworn he heard a small mutter of: “And third, well—I may have learn to care for you...”It was nice dream, to hear those words again from someone he thought would hate him; whether they remembered him or not.

_They were standing in the middle of a garden. It was warm and sunny, and Leo heard himself laughing as he talked about seeing his half brother. His friend listened attentively, smiling as the blond mentioned finally meeting a brother; frowning when the blond also sulked about his mother being unhappy about the situation._

_“The scary man who said that he was my father, mentioned about moving with him,” The young Leo said, frowning slightly as he remembered the incident. “Mama is not happy, does she not like papa?”_

_His friend could only shrug, dark brown eye staring at him curiously, “Maybe she doesn’t want to leave.” He replied, but the griped his hand all of a sudden, “I don’t want you to leave! Stay here!”_

_“But, my brother said he wanted me to live with him! And I have an older sister too!” Leo whined sadly, “And-and they mentioned a little sister! I’ll be having siblings! And I’ll have a father!”_

_“You can’t leave me! I’ll share my siblings with you! They’ll like you anyway!” The other boy argued, “Otou-san was talking about a new sibling, but I don’t want him! You could be my brother instead!”_

_“But—“_

_“Besides! You haven’t met them before! They could be lying!” the other was crying now, “don’t leave! Stay here! Please! You’re my friend! You’re special!”_

_Suddenly the sky turned dark and light shower poured. Leo wasn’t sure if it was the rain water trailing down his face or his tears. Right in front of him, his friend was in a similar situation.  What was bright and sunny became dull and sullen. If Leo can look back on that day, it would have been a foreshadowing of a chapter being ripped out from his life._

A roar of thunder woke him from his slumber, and when he opened his eyes he was alone on his bed. He was not in garden sitting beneath the rain, nor was he next to another child. He was simply alone in his dark room; the lights were off, but it wasn’t a black out as he could still hear the hum of the air condition. He frowned before sitting up and reaching for the lampshade on the bedside table, turning it on to show that he was indeed alone in the room.

He rubbed his eyes, attempting to remove the sleep in them, before remembering who he was with earlier—frantically he reached for the clock on his table and noted that he slept for quite a while, it was well into the evening which means he slept for several hours. Aside from realizing that Takumi must have left, he also noticed that his legs were no longer dangling from the bed, but rather he was moved to lay down properly; based on his position right now, and there was even a blanket thrown on him (It was a bit embarrassing, the mortification that his classmate/rival ‘tucked’ him into bed).

Another thing he noticed was that there was a tray over at his study table, with a curious frown he stood from his position and walked the short distance towards the table. His laptop was neatly arranged there, along with the books they used. What shocked him more however was that there was a bowl with some soup in it, along with a bowl of rice and what Leo remembered to be called tempura?

_Hey sleeping ugly,_

_I hope you don’t mind if I raided your kitchen, your sister didn’t so I guess I’m allowed to. I woke up a few hours after our nap, and I decided to read while waiting for you, (Yeah, I also raided your book shelf—You slept like a log!). Anyway, it was getting late and I was getting hungry. Your sister was too because she knocked on the door and asking you to cook dinner. We both decided not to wake you and so I made dinner for the three of us. This is your portion by the way, and no I did not poison it!_

_Anyway, eat this and no complaints, I can’t cook your fancy soup so settle with some Miso and tempura. And go back to sleep! If it’s too cold just warm it up. I have to leave, Corrin would worry and Sakura would probably have a seizure._

_-Takumi_

_p.s. Go back to sleep after dinner, no working tonight. I commend you for your dedication, but god damn it sleep!_

Leo frowned as he reached for the bowl of Miso soup; it was still a bit warm, which means Takumi couldn’t have left long ago. He grabbed his phone from the table, and preceded to text the other male. It was raining, what was the other thinking.

 **Leo:** It’s raining you idiot! Did you take an umbrella at least?

 **Takumi:** Lol. I only left about 15 mins ago. And Yeah, I took an umbrella.

 **Leo:** You should have woken me. I could have drove you!

 **Takumi:** Nah, I’m fine. And u need sleep.

 **Takumi:** And we live near each other anyway. And if it gets worse, I’m going to call Corrin.

 **Takumi** : If you haven’t had dinner just eat. It’s good.

At that message, Leo couldn’t help but smile slightly

 **Leo:** Are you sure you’re fine? The rain looks to be pouring.

 **Takumi:** I’m fine. It’s just another 15 mins or so until I’m home.

 **Leo:** Alright, I won’t disturb you further. Text me when you get home.

 **Leo:** I do not want to feel responsible if you die.

 **Takumi:** Lol. Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll text you.

With a small sigh he set down his phone again before looking at his dinner, it would seem that it has gone cold as he texted with his classmate, but nonetheless as he ate, he couldn’t help but found that he enjoyed the taste, and the miso soup was quickly becoming one of his favourites. He finished it quickly and moved to bring the utensils to the kitchen; both to clean up and to put them away.

When he got back to his room, his screen lit up, and when he read the message he couldn’t help but grin.

 **Takumi:** I’m home. And Corrin is giving me lecture about walking out in the rain. Send help.

* * *

“Tell me Leo, who was the boy that Elise mentioned to be coming over?”

From the corner of his eyes, he saw his older sister join him on the sofa. He couldn’t help but notice she was still wearing a robe over her sleep wear, and her long flowing hair was tied into a high pony tail. She had placed a cup of tea on the coffee table; he assumed it was chamomile, as it was late in the evening. Leo prefers to study in the living room, mostly because it was nearest to the kitchen in case he was feeling peckish.

“He’s just a classmate sister,” Leo replied stiffly, internally cursing as he saw the innocent smile on her face, "we were just finishing our research project.”

It was already the fourth month of the semester and their mid-terms finished about two weeks ago. Obviously, Leo and Takumi’s paper had gotten them top marks, along with their presentation. Similarly, Leo passed all his subjects with flying colours, he was at the top of his classes; practically perfecting all of his tests. The price however that he was subjected to continuous coddling from his siblings and Corrin, as they realized that he was rarely sleeping. He may be a genius, but he would not risk achieving less than he expected.

It was also during those days that Takumi also took to forcing him to take a break, or shoving coffee at his hand. But what was more surprising was that, even if the project was finish, Takumi would still hang out with Leo and his group, occasionally inviting Leo to eat or visit the library with him. In turn, sometimes Leo would offer Takumi to visit, to lend him some of his own collection of books, and sometimes to study.

In a sense, they’ve formed a relationship in which, although they may seem as friends, Leo was not sure where they stand.

 “Oh? Does that mean you have a new friend Leo-dear?” Camilla asked, smiling ever so tenderly at her ‘cute’ little brother, “I’ve met Corrin when I was doing groceries this morning, and he mentioned that you got along with his little brother. Oh! And Corrin hasn’t visited in a while; maybe we should invite them to dinner.”

“Maybe we should, when Xander has more free time.” Leo replied, but ignoring the first question thrown his way, “I would think he would also want to see Corrin.”

“Yes, I think Xander would love that. He is like family to us now.”

“And yet you dislike Niles, and apprehensive about Odin, but you couldn’t help but be taken with Corrin?”

“He’s such a sweetie! And Niles has a very vulgar tongue; I don’t like you associating with him.” She replied haughtily, frowning at the mentioned of the other male. “I will not excuse him for trying to get you to bed.”

“He was only joking Camilla, and that was years ago.” Leo muttered, a small blush on his cheeks as he remembered that horrifying experience, “Even Xander forgave him, and he was the one most angered by it.”

Camilla only hmp-ed, and Leo could only sighed at her stubbornness, “But, back to topic; who is your new friend? Are you going to introduce him to us?”

“He’s not a friend.” Leo replied, shaking his head and frowning, “at least he wouldn’t want to be.” He muttered quietly, almost too low to be heard, and hoping he wasn’t heard.

But his sister did hear, and frowned slightly, all forms of teasing leaning her as she looked at her brother’s slightly dejected form. “Oh dear, is he bullying you?” she asked him softly, “Would you want me to kill him? I’m sure it would upset Corrin, but if his little brother is causing you problems let big sister deal with him.”

“No. It’s fine Camilla.” He reassured, shaking his head slightly, “We just, don’t get along as much as others would think.”

“But do you want to get along with him?” his sister asked him calmly, looking at him tenderly and lovingly, letting him know that she understands him. “You wouldn’t be this upset if you weren’t.”

The blond could only sit there in silence, reflecting on what he thinks are his emotions. Although he prided himself for ‘reason over feelings’ there are times when he knew they take over. Covering and climbing over his rationality. What did he want? And yet, he was answered by some feeling of longing, a longing he knew should have been buried long ago, but had gotten stronger, more prominent, and more unbearable.

“I wanted to.” He replied quietly, relaxing slightly as his sister pulled him to lea over her shoulder, “But, there are so many things that are against it.”

“Oh my poor dear.” His sister sighed, bringing a hand to comb through his blonde hair, “do you remember when you came to live with us? Xander and I were horrified when you came to us bandaged and hurt. I met you the first time then, but I already knew you’d be my beloved little brother.”

“Yeah, I think I can remember; you used to coddle me and ask if I wanted anything.” Leo muttered, smiling softly at the memory, “Xander was no better, he would attempt to get me inane stuffed animals in hopes that it would cheer me up.”

“We were also worried.” She continued, continuing her ministrations, calmly and soothingly. Usually, Leo would want to pull away, to be treated as an adult, but sometimes, he missed the familiar touch of his sister’s gentle care, and sometimes, even his brother’s fond doting. “You were hurt, and we weren’t even sure if we get to have you. It was only by sheer misfortune that father found a way to win the court into his favour.”

“You mean child neglect and abandonment.” Leo muttered bitterly, “It does explain why I’m outside of the house most of the time while mother went with which ever male gave her the time of day.”

“But you weren’t sad about that.” Camilla added, continuing to try and soothe her distressed little brother, “In fact, you were upset about a playmate. You won’t even look at Xander and I, not even at Elise. All you said that you want go ‘home’ and see your friend. It took you quite a while to warm up to us.”

Leo blinked, “I did?” he asked in shock, he does remember wanting to return to his previous home, but he does not remember ignoring his siblings at all. “But, I remember wanting to go meet with you.”

“You did, but after a week, you said that you want to go home.” Camilla clarified, smiling sadly, “I never felt so competitive my life, to see that my little brother didn’t want his older sister but an unnamed friend. I was afraid that you would run away! Oh my poor heart then couldn’t bear it.”

“That’s a bit dramatic sister. I was seven then, how could I possibly run away?”

“And I was ten, let me have my wild imagination.” She huffed, “Xander was no better, he was bribing you with all your favourite food and books in hopes you’d like him more.”

“Yes, the nanny was not all that pleased that Xander was skipping lunch to save his allowance in order to buy me books.”

“Ah, but what I wanted to say is that, Xander and I tried to get close to you, even if we know something was blocking you from seeing us.” she smiled softly, leaning slightly to place a small kiss on his cheek, “Although it was an exaggeration, but at ten and twelve years of age, Xander and I thought we could lose you. We wanted you to warm up to us, we would do anything. Like right now, we would fight tooth and nail for both you and Elise.”

“I know. We wouldn’t be here now if you guys just abandoned us.” Leo murmured quietly, mourning over the last couple of years before college, “And I’m grateful.”

“You don’t need to be grateful; we would do anything for you, dear. That’s how much we love you.” Camilla assured tenderly, smiling softly as her little brother leaned unto her more. “That’s why, the best advice I can give you now is that you should try to befriend him, even if you think something is in the way. If Xander and I gave up then, we might have lost you. Maybe not in a physical sense, but our relationship wouldn’t be this close as it is.”

“What if he hates me?” Leo asked tentatively, unsure—a sign of weakness, but he knew that he could act like a small child, and Camilla would only hold him tenderly.

“Why would he hate you dear?”

“I can’t tell you. I just can’t tell you right now.”

“Then, if it’s serious, he’s not worth your time my dear.” She replied, humming softly as she placed another kiss on his cheek, “And I’m sure even if he does reject your friendship, then it would not be a loss, Elise, Xander, and I are here for you.”

“Even if we lose Corrin because of this?”

“I would like to avoid that, but Leo, you are our precious little brother. You mean the world to us.” She said, holding her brother close to her, “We may not say this often, but Leo, we love you. And we would go against everyone to protect you. So don’t look upset now sweetheart, it breaks my heart seeing you sad.”

“I’m not  _sad._ ” Leo denied, blushing as he pulled himself from her tender embrace. “I’m just tired.”

Camilla could only chuckle at his embarrassment, “Yes, of course. But dear, it’s getting late, and you have classes early tomorrow. And your tea has gotten cold.”

Leo could only mutter a soft good night before moving himself to his room. When he closed his door to his room, he could only sigh quietly to himself. On the far corner he looked at his bookshelf, on the last shelf, he pulled out a worn out book. It was an old book on Hoshidan Folklore, and old book from his childhood. He opened it in the middle page he pulled out an old photograph: Two children were smiling at the camera, hugging each other. It brought a sad smile into his lips, wistfully longing for their brighter days.

“Everything went wrong that day.” He murmured as he returned everything to its proper place.

That night, he dreamt of a huge cold house, multiple maids, butlers, and nannies at his call. He also saw his siblings, coddling and loving him, his father busy but sometimes offering him a piggy back ride. But what he could remember prominently was the empty feeling that something was missing.

And, at the back of his mind, the laughter of two children rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just, excuse the typos if any. I swear I will get glasses soon if I could persuade them that there's something wrong with my eyesight.
> 
> Notes on this chapter:
> 
> 1\. I see Xander as the fawning type of brother too, especially when younger, he always wanted siblings. Although I think he would be more stoic when he gets older, especially after Garon dies (and he has to be the man of the house)
> 
> 2\. Although Camilla is hands off with Leo, I would think she'd also coddle him whenever he was too upset, and Leo would also let himself be coddled by her since he is also starved for some motherly affection. (In the game it could be seen in their support that Leo actively tries to seek her attention and praise, it could also be seen in his support with the Avatar that he was jealous of him/her because their siblings seem to show more care towards them than him.)
> 
> 3\. I still don't know if the Nohr siblings should share last names, so I left it for your own discretion.


	4. Chapter 4: Warped feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings continue to shift, were they merely warped feelings of longing, or something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the friendly warning of typos and I want to thank everyone who supported this fic.
> 
> I would thank all of you personally if I could, but I'm too shy (That's why I don't reply in comments. I feel so bad, so I decided to address it here on the notes). Again, Thank you very much.
> 
> Also, I'm not very confident in this fic. And I think I should really start mentioning this now, but I'm not an expert on the psychology stuff. I mean, the fic was heavily based on my thesis last year. But, some more heavy psychology stuff might come up and I'm getting anxious about this fic. So please be patient with me if I accidentally offended someone. And if I did, I apologize.
> 
> (Edited: trying to fix up some typos but I think I missed some. I wanna Thank Ahhh for pointing them out!)

“You know, you would look good in a Kimono.”

Leo could only raise a brow at that comment, “That’s sudden; please don’t tell me you’ve tried imaging me in different outfits. That’s a bit perverted.”

Takumi flushed brightly in response, spluttering excuses and defenses, “I-I’m not! I’m not like your sex-fiend of a friend!” he snapped, his face flushed as he tried to compose himself, “I just thought you had a nice face and all—and no! I was not admiring your face, but Corrin just showed me a picture of you in a summer Kimono the other day.”

“Ah, I remember, Corrin wanted to me to try out his Kimono.”  Leo said in realization, “I was in highschool then, and the kimono was a gift from your mother.”

Today they were at the park, simply sitting on one of the benches as they were both only had one classes that day; they both shared a 3 hour class on Politics that day. It was in the late afternoon and it was sunny today, and there was no promise of rain. However, Leo still felt that it was cold and pulled his scarf closer, it was autumn after all, and the winds were unforgiving. Takumi was worst off, as he was used to the more warm temperatures of Hoshido, he was wearing a thicker jacket in order to combat the cold.

“Yeah, I recognized it. Mother wanted to buy us Kimonos for the summer festival that year, but since Corrin was studying here, she thought it was only fair that she sent him one too.” Takumi said absentmindedly, “I miss her. I also kind of miss my sister and older brother. But I also don’t feel like going back.”

Leo frowned slightly, Corrin did mention that the circumstance of his family was problematic at this time, but for the younger children to be actually sent away. “Could I ask what has happened?”

Takumi shrugged, “It’s not that much of a secret anyway.” He replied, “Our mother died last year, and well, things were hard on us. Financially we were fine, brother inherited the family business, and Hinoka helps out, quitting her job as a judo instructor. We also have a trust fund, and Ryouma makes sure that we are well-taken care of, but things weren’t exactly the same; Sakura cries every night, and Hinoka has been less cheerful. I on the other hand apparently became more aggressive and ill-tempered.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Leo murmured, looking a bit ashamed for bringing up such a painful memory, “Corrin has mentioned your mother passing, I apologize if this brings you depressing memories.”

“Its fine, I haven’t even talked to anyone about this.” Takumi sighed, “I know she was only my step mother, and Corrin is the one who is supposed to feel more pained because she was his biological parent, but she treated us all as if her children.” His hands clenched unto his pants, and he bent down his head to avoid showing the other his face, “Big brother decided that maybe a change of scenery would do us some good, and sent Sakura and I here in hopes we would move on.”

There was silence for a few minutes as Leo left Takumi to collect himself. Leo couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the upset male. It was a horrible situation to be placed in. Conflicted, Leo was unsure what to do, or what to say. What can he say? It wasn’t as if his words could offer him anything to look positively on. He tried to think of what to do, or what to say, but he came out blank. There was nothing logical to do—but what about non-logical—?

With slight hesitation, Leo reached out and gave Takumi an awkward hug, something he knew his sisters and even his brother would offer him whenever he was sad. It always brought him a soft of warm and happy feeling. This was a bit embarrassing, and Leo wasn’t even a hugger, but it’s not as if he could simply leave the male to his suffering.

“W-what are you doing?” Takumi muttered in surprise as he felt the blonde holding him, “This is embarrassing.”

“Shut up and just accept my attempt of comfort.” Leo muttered, blushing furiously, “Feel lucky that I’m going this far for you, ingrate.”

Takumi chuckled as he pushed the other away, “I’m fine now, you humourless human.” He teased, “I’m fine, and you might die of embarrassment if you tried to be more human.”

“Ungrateful prat, see if I take mercy on your suffering next time.”

“Well, Ryouma was right, things did get better.” Takumi said suddenly, looking up and giving Leo a small but reassuring smile. “Sakura is smiling more, and is making more friends. She met new friends, and hey maybe I can introduce her to your sister, I think Elise would do well for her shy nature.”

There was something nagging at the back of his head, something Leo wanted to ask. This felts strangely familiar, and yet different at the same time. The nostalgia was mixing with the dread, and he couldn’t differentiate it anymore. He took a deep breath, trying to finds a semblance of balance within him. Everything was becoming jumbled, but he felt the need to ask.

‘ _Don’t go—‘_

“Do you miss it? Hoshido I mean.” Leo asked quietly, “Would you go back if you could?”

“I would.” Takumi Replied without hesitation, “everyone is there, my childhood friends, my brother and sister, and even my home is there. I miss them.”

He wasn’t sure how to accept that answer, although he knew deep down that Takumi would want to leave for Hoshido, there was a selfish part of himself that wanted the other to say that he would stay.  It wasn’t as if it was the first time he experienced something of the nature, but it was not directed into someone else. But the answer remains obvious.

And yet, Takumi’s next words shocked him, “But, I think I would at least come visit you from time to time.” He said, looking away and averting his gaze, “I mean, you are a pain in the ass but hey, I guess I’ll miss you.”

Leo blinked, once, twice, and thrice, and yet he was sure that he was not hallucinating. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I won’t say this twice.” Takumi muttered, blushing furiously, but this time his gaze met him, staring at him in an attempt to show his sincerity. “I think of you as a friend; an asshole of a friend, but a friend nonetheless.”

There was something fluttering in his chest, and something at the back of his mind that is making him feel like laughing and crying at the same time. It was mix of both melancholy and happiness; something he was not sure how to react to. And yet, he found himself smiling slightly, looking at Takumi with a small but smile on his lips.

“To be honest, I feel the same.” Leo replied, “I always thought of you as a friend.”

He didn’t know if he was echoing from a memory that has long been passed, or he was genuinely saying this from their relationship now, in either case, the smile that Takumi presented to him when he said those words were blinding. And Leo found, that maybe things were beginning to look up. Maybe he could finally say that the longing he felt was satiated.

“Wow, it took us ages to realize and accept that we think each other as friends.” The other said, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Maybe we owe Corrin an apology, I hate to admit this, but he was right.”

“I think he already realized it.” Leo answered, giving a small chuckle of his own, “from the bright smile on his face whenever he saw us was any indication.”

 Takumi hummed in agreement, “I guess—oh! Maybe you can come to Hoshido on the next summer festival.” Suddenly his face was bright red, and he was avoiding Leo’s stare. “I can take you there this summer if you want?”

And the blond found himself agreeing, listening as the Hoshidan gave him a brief lecture on the festivals and traditions of his homeland. Leo couldn’t help but listen attentively, a bit fascinated with what he didn’t know. He wondered, if this was good enough, if maybe they can get along perfectly now.

Yet, somehow, he finds himself wondering if it would be as good as he hoped it would be.

That night, he dreamt of a child falling down—

But this time, someone grabbed his hand, all the while crying his name.

The next morning, he felt like everything was still a dream, as if the remnants of sleep clung to him. Sometimes he felt that he was floating, when he was too tired or too stressed, he felt like he was simply floating; moving on autopilot. It was usually like that in the mornings, during highschool he usually had a croaked collar, or sometimes his sweater was inside out. Sometimes even on the weakened his hair could either be unkempt, or he would wear mismatched shoes.

“You know, your vest is inside out.” Takumi said as he met him for lunch, “I would have told you in class, but you were seated too far back and I don’t think Prof. Azama would appreciate my texting.”

Today was one of those days however.

Leo blushed and muttered something under his breath as he removed his vest and prompted to wear it properly. He heard Takumi laugh, saying something about ‘someone dressing half asleep’ –which was slightly true honestly. He woke up late as he stayed up to finish his essay for his Psychology class. He had to rush around as he got prepared, throwing on whatever he could find and stuffing his bag with what he needed before rushing.

“You’re quite absent minded aren’t you?” the silver haired male commented as he gave Leo a look, “Last week, Corrin pointed out that your head band was falling off. And then a few days ago you completely forgot your headband.”

“Do you gain anything from remembering my misfortune?” Leo asked in a sardonic voice.

“Yeah, I do; more teasing material.” Takumi replied in a heartbeat, a small smirk on his face, “It’s kinda cute actually. It’s like a little kid who can’t dress themselves in morning.”

“At least I don’t look like a girl or a pineapple—ow!” Leo growled as his shoulder, which Takumi had punched, “I will sue you for abuse.”

“I’m not a pineapple. And just so you know I’m growing my hair because of a promise.” Takumi defended (his honour).

“Who would ask you to promise to grow your hair?” Leo asked. To be honest, that was a curious thing to promise, although he wasn’t complaining, Takumi’s hair looked good at him, and it was difficult to imagine him with hair shorter than shoulder length.

“Well I wasn’t exactly asked to.” Takumi muttered, blushing slightly, “and forget about it, I wasn’t supposed to say that in the first place.”

“Well, it caught my attention, now. And I’m fairly curious as to who made you promise something so ridiculous.”

“Yeah, a curious kitten you are.” Takumi huffed, ignoring the ‘I’m not a kitten’ comment from Leo, “and I said forget about it. Yeah, it’s a bit ridiculous, but it’s not like I would lose anything. Besides, my friends used to tell me I looked great with long hair.”

To be honest it was true; Leo also found that Takumi’s hair gave him more character. In fact, the blond was also betting that his hair was actually soft. There was a certain appeal as his bangs and hair framed his youthful face. Other times, it painted him as elegant, especially when the wind would gently blow his hair. Leo found his hair to be Takumi’s trademark.

_His small hands were combing through the silver tresses, laughing as he tied them into shirt pigtails. His friend huffed, complaining about his hair being ‘girly’. They were seated on a bench near the play ground. His friend brought a handful of hair ribbons as Leo was complaining that his hair was getting in his face. In the end, they were being used on his friend’s longer hair._

“It’s just a dumb childhood friend.” Takumi eventually replied, pulling Leo back to reality, “He likes playing with my hair, and I guess I wanted something to remember him by.”

Leo felt a pang on his chest as he heard the words, the unbidden memory resurfaced, of those times when things were easier and brighter. Memories he didn’t even want to remember, lest they bring back the longing he tried to bury away.

“Well, that was cute.” Leo chose to force out, trying to smirk at the other, he hoped it did not look like a grimace, “Who knew you had a sentimental side in your body.”

“I’m not a soulless Nohrian like you.” Takumi shot back, poking at Leo’s forehead, “And you probably didn’t have any friends during your childhood anyway.”

That was bit harsh, and Leo was sure he felt hurt when Takumi said those words. Although they were meant to be teasing, in his ears they were mocking. It wasn’t all that wrong; he didn’t have many friends in his childhood as he has always been a solitary child, choosing books over his classmates. But it did not mean he had no friends. In fact, he had a best friend.

And that person was the one that betrayed him—

_He was falling—and yet a hand grabbed his arm and yelled out his name—_

_LEO!_

“Leo?”

Leo frowned as his eyes shifted towards Takumi; the silver haired male was staring at him worriedly, “What?” he asked stiffly, unconsciously he let his mood seep into his actions. He cursed himself silently, and hoped that the other didn’t notice.

“Nothing, you were just lost in thought for a bit.” Takumi answered cautiously, assessing him with his worried brown eyes, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just tired.” Leo replied, the automatic response that he was used to saying. “Just thinking; don’t worry, it’s nothing of importance.”

“Uh huh, if you say so.” Was the other’s reply, however his voice betrays how unconvinced he was, “Fine, don’t tell me, but know that you can tell me once you’re ready; I told you my sob story.” Takumi added, offering Leo a small smile.

The blond smiled in gratitude, “I’ll remember that. I’ll tell you everything when I’m ready.”

The question was, would he ever be ready to face what was forever left unsaid between them--?

_‘I will never be friends with the likes of you.’_

* * *

Takumi gave him strange looks for a while after that day. Sometimes Leo found himself meeting the other’s stare, and Takumi would blush brightly and look away. It was strange to say the least, or at least that was what Leo thinks of the situation.  Absentmindedly, Leo noted that the other’s eyes were more vibrant than when he met him. Before he could recall them being a bit dull—and now Leo hypothesizes—from grief.

Their friendship was strange nonetheless or strange from his perspective. It was just odd for Leo’s part, given the circumstances of their relationship. In fact, it was odd to befriend someone twice in their lives. In fact, Leo wasn’t so sure what to feel about the situation at all. He identifies that felt the familiar feeling of longing, happiness, worry, and uncertainty. And yet, Takumi finds some way to make think of other things, happier things.

That was how he found himself in the other’s room, combing through the silver tresses and Takumi complained about the knots and tangles that his hair is most likely suffering. For some reason, it felt oddly nostalgic and almost sweet as his hands touched the silk-like strands. For a moment, he could almost picture them caked with mud, and the light laughter of children joining the air.

“I’m sorry you have to be forced into this ‘girly’ thing.” Takumi muttered and winced when Leo accidentally pulled too hard due to the brush meeting a particular tight knot. “Mostly I would have Sakura help me with this, but she’s going to sleep over with her new friends for the first time and I don’t want to ruin it. And, I will not let Corrin near my hair!”

“Are you worried he’d turn them into pigtails?” Leo asked teasingly, smirking at the image that he thought of.

“No, I’m more worried of him braiding it,” The other answer what bright a smile unto their faces was that Takumi was being sincere with his reply. “He might think a ponytail is too boring and attempt to style my hair for his own amusement.”

They both laughed at the mental image. It was true, Corrin does have the tendency to mess and tease them. It was like having another brother playing around with. And, the mental image of Takumi forced to have a braid, or any girly style at all would be amusing.

Admittedly, Leo couldn’t help but think it may also suit him.

Takumi would murder him is he knew—

“It could have saved you the trouble if you had brushed your hair properly every day.” Leo couldn’t help but scold him lightly as he untangled another knot. “Now you are reduced to having a form of ‘combing’ session every weekend.”

“I would have, but sometimes I have to rush to my classes, so I just throw my hair into a ponytail just to be over with it.” Takumi grumbled his replied, crossing his arms and practically pouting. Leo laughed as he saw his reflection in the mirror.

“Then maybe you should cut it, shorten it so it would be easily manageable.” Leo suggested as he continued to gently brush through the defiant knots, hoping to untangle them. “It would be a whole lot easier if any case.”

He was expecting Takumi to defend his hair, to say something along the lines of ‘It makes me look good’ or the sentimental, “but I promise someone.” But instead the other merely shrugged, looking at the mirror in as if assessing the blond’s words.

“Do you think I should cut my hair?” Takumi asked eventually, just as Leo managed to untangle the apparently stubborn knot.

Leo frowned as he continued combing through his hair, trying to push down the words ‘No!’ that almost left his lips. To be honest, he found himself liking the other’s hair as is, long and flowing, almost like a silvery waterfall. “Why? I thought you would like to keep it long for your friend?” Leo asked back, refusing to answer immediately.

“It’s been a long time anyway.” Takumi murmured, looking at his reflection and the looking up slightly to meet Leo’s gaze at the mirror, “He might not care.”

“Well, my opinion doesn’t matter.” Leo replied, continuing to evade answering the slightly intimate question, “It’s your hair Takumi, I would think my suggestion would not be needed. But if you must, maybe you can ask those childhood friends you have mentioned.”

Takumi was silent for a while, before realising a tired sighed, “Your opinion matters to me, I would like to know what you would think of me cutting my hair.” He answered cautiously, “Would you prefer my hair to be short?”

Leo was slightly taken aback by his words. He couldn’t open his mouth, nor formulate a proper response. Instead, he continued to comb through the silver tresses, which he would admit, he has grown fond of. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Leo combing through his hair, and Takumi avoiding looking at him throughout the process. To be honest, although it was relaxing running the brush through the silver strands, the air around them was tense and awkward; almost suffocating.

When Leo moved to tie the other’s hair into a neat ponytail, he finally came to an answer, “I prefer your hair this way.” He replied, blushing slightly as he tied the hair ribbon, making sure it was secure and in place, “And, I also wouldn’t mind combing your hair again if you need me to.”

“Who knew you dreamt of being a hairdresser.” Takumi teased lightly, smirking as he heard the blond huff, “Then, I’ll keep it long, and doing this once in a while is kinda fun.” He added, “Ooboro used to cut my hair whenever it became too long, she used to cut Hinata’s too.”

Familiar names, he has heard of them before. Takumi had mentioned about his own friends back in Hoshido. He also heard more of Takumi’s family, his brother and sisters; he even met Sakura, a sweet child that goes to a nearby highschool. The silver haired male was warming up to him, trusting him a bit more as the time pass. Leo couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty that he kept things from the other.

Things that he wasn’t so sure won’t affect their relationship.

“Well, she must have been used to it, since your mop of hair refuses to be tamed.” Leo said instead, trying to keep the atmosphere light and teasing. “No wonder you need to do these sessions weekly.”

“Well, that’s your job now.”

“When have I agreed to that?”

“When you told me not to cut my hair.” Takumi replied simply, grinning as he turned to look on the other’s face. “You have to take responsibility now.”

Leo blinked, although the tone was teasing, there was something hidden beneath his words; it was the implication that he will listen to Leo’s request. It was strange, because for one thing, Leo’s judgment and opinion shouldn’t have mattered to Takumi. If he wanted to cut his hair, then Takumi was free to do so, and that Leo’s thoughts on the matter shouldn’t affect his decision.

Vaguely, he felt his heart pick up ion the thought that Takumi was considering what he wanted.

“Why does my opinion matter?” Leo asked, curiosity getting the better of him, “If I had said that I wanted you to cut your hair would you have done it.”

There was a pause, and Leo wondered if he overstepped a boundary, “It matters to me.” Takumi answered after a few seconds of silence, “And, although I was relieved that you like my hair the way it is, I might follow through, getting a new haircut, maybe with reluctance.”

“Why?”

This time there was longer pause, and Leo was sure the air between them was even tenser than before. Takumi avoided looking at his face, maybe even attempting to find a way to avoid the situation if needed and Leo could hardly fault him for wanting run away from this awkward confrontation. In a sense, the blond himself felt that maybe he should drop the inquiries and let them have their merry way.

“Because— you’re important to me.” Takumi said suddenly, a bright blush on his face, but this time, his eyes met his own, sincere and full of fire, “That’s it, because I think of you as an someone important to me.”

His heart was beating faster than earlier, and Leo himself couldn’t ignore his face heating up from the (platonic) confession. It was, endearing to say the least, to hear how important he is to the other. Although he never said to what degree, it was implied that Leo was important enough that the silver haired male would follow his opinions. Either because of trust or simple endearment, he wasn’t so sure; however it was the fact that Takumi saw their bond to be special enough that he saw Leo as something of importance to his life.

Leo would have wanted to say the same thing, how the other has always been important to him

“Don’t get all mushy on me now.” Leo said instead, trying his hardest not to let his true emotions seep from his actions, “Anyone would mistake that for a love confession.”

“Yeah, they probably would have.” Takumi replied, however it lost it’s teasing lit, “Anyway, maybe we can play a game or I can lend you some books. Or we can go outside, a walk in the park or a movie; it’s still pretty early for you to be going home.”

Leo frowned at the sudden loss of enthusiasm the other was displaying, it was sudden. “Are you alright Takumi?”

“I’m fine, but I’m bored as hell.” He replied, although this time he sounded more alive than he did before, “Maybe we can go for a movie then, I heard there’s a new sci-fi movie in the cinema."

Although the blond still found his behaviour odd, he couldn’t bring himself to inquire further. “Alright, maybe we can invite Corrin with us.”

That evening, as he parted ways with the siblings, he couldn’t help but wonder what bothered the silver haired male that time before they left. It was as if he was disappointed about something Leo had said. Leo could have chalked it out as his imagination, but for a second, he saw that Takumi’s eyes weren’t as bright as they are, in fact, even during the time they spent with each other afterwards, the other still looked to be troubled over something.

_He dreamt that he was laughing, but then he was falling—_

_And then he called out—_

_I'm sorry..._

* * *

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you should be telling us?” 

“Niles, for the last time, no there is nothing going on between Takumi and I.”

“I beg to differ Leo, there is something going on and you just don’t want to admit it.” Niles leered, and Leo could only scowl as he pointedly refused to answer him, instead went to focus on the book he was reading.

It has been two weeks since he came over to help Takumi with his hair, a week since the awkward but sweet confession—a platonic confession. And yet, for some odd reason, Leo noticed that somehow, things became awkward between the both of them. For one, Takumi would sometimes look as if there was something on his mind, and whenever Leo would attempt to ask him, the other would evade his inquiry. Also, there are times he caught the earthen orbs staring at him intently, as if assessing something of the blonde. Although their initial interaction hasn’t change, teasing and bantering as they always did. There was something there, something they couldn’t exactly grasp yet.

Leo himself has also become conscious of his actions. The way he seeks out the other, the way he was always careful with what he would say or do. Sometimes he becomes self-conscious, always trying to look his best for Takumi, sometimes thinking about what the other would have wanted. Sometimes, he finds himself smiling at the interactions. He could still feel the longing in himself; but a longing for what he wasn’t so sure. He was merely content whenever the other was around.

It was strangely peasant, and yet also terrifying.

“Well, whatever.” Niles said eventually, “Go be oblivious. At this rate you will forever be virgin.”

Leo could only splutter and blush at the words his friend has casually thrown at him. “Niles! My sex life is not for discussion.”

“Do you mean your lack of sex life?”

“Please shut up.”

“I could always-.”

“Niles. No.”

When Odin arrived, apologizing for being late as his theatre organization was setting up a play, and he was tasked with one of the lead roles; Leo was practically relieved to be away from Niles constant teasing, and innuendos. Mildly, he was distracted with Odin’s re-enactment of what transpired during his practice session (apparently, one of his friends and the club’s student choreographer Laslow, was going to play the main villain, and thus Odin and him went all out—tiring not only themselves but also the people watching). Niles was only looking at Odin and nodding along, however Leo was sure he was not listening, more focused on texting whoever it was on his phone. Leo himself was only half listening; rather he was more lost in thought.

It wasn’t a very new thought, not in the slightest. What he was thinking about was the absent silver haired male that has become part of his life (again, if he wants to be particular). To be honest, Leo found his thoughts travelling to other more often than not, or more often than usual. And it wasn’t usually on their unsaid past that he thought about, on the contrary, he was thinking of the present. Of what they are, friends, best friends from what he assumes. And yet, he also found a small linger of doubt within him, a doubt that could not be simply satisfied by their relation now.

There was something pulling at his chest at the thought, a longing he could not explain.

“You know, you have that love sick look on your face right now.” Niles broke through the haze of his thoughts, “You’ve been looking at the same page on your book for a while now.”

Leo flushed, and even Odin has stopped talking and was staring at the blond curiously, “I do not have a love sick look!”

“I apologize, but milord, you have that very same look my dear friend Laslow has whenever he was enamoured by someone.” Odin said, looking at Leo with concern, “A look of utter despair and hopelessness whenever a fair maiden that has actually stolen his heart refused to return it to him.”

“Wow, that’s kind of depressing and poetic, thanks for making it sounding cheesier than it should.” Niles said, whistling rather sarcastically. “Well whatever, that means, you do have that damn puppy look on your face.”

Leo blinked before sighing tiredly and rubbing his face with his hands, the blush on his cheeks was not helping at all. “What do you mean love-sick? And who could I have been in love with?”

Niles could only shake his head, and Odin looked at him with something he assumed was pity. “Well Leo, I would think you know who, but you’re just thinking too rationally about this.” Niles finally said, while Odin nodded in agreement.

The blonde tried to recall anyone he could have been showing feelings for, or any type of affection at all the bordered romantic. There was none that comes into mind. He doesn’t recall showing anyone any trace of affection. Well, maybe except Takumi—

Takumi...

Leo groaned and smacked his hand on his forehead when the realization finally settled in; his face was brighter than before and he swore he heard Niles muttered a ‘finally’. This was too complicated, even more so for the situation that he would probably never mention, but the situation he always emphasized to himself. He wanted to ask himself if he hadn’t outgrown his childish longing, or it had morphed into something far too complicated for himself—

‘ _You’re important to me’_

And for that very same reason, Leo knew he could never risk the development of their relationship. He couldn’t risk it for these complicated emotions and longing. What he needs now is to tame his treacherous feelings, and in hopes of making their friendship last longer.

_‘You don’t belong—‘_

_‘Don’t leave me—‘_

“I feel nothing of that sort for him.’ Leo said, clenching his teeth when Niles was about to speak, “Nothing and it will always be that way.”

His friends watched him carefully, observing his actions and trying to find what the blond could be thinking. Leo knew that stare, that worried stare that his friends would throw at him whenever he was particularly being troublesome. Particularly, Niles' single eye was staring at him intensely, reading him carefully.

“You can’t be in denial for too long.” Niles finally said, and yet his eye was still boring into his, “But, Leo, you have to acknowledge your feelings one of these days

Leo could only sigh, “I know, but it won’t benefit me in the slightest if I acknowledge them.”

Besides, how could he even face Takumi in this state, how should he act around the silver haired male; hiding all these little secrets. Denying and burying everything was the best course of action for him. It would entail fewer problems, and even would assure him that he would not be able to scare or push Takumi away.

He wasn’t so sure if he could recover if he lost him a second time—

Especially when he came to acknowledge his feelings before and now—

He should just be content to bury his feelings along with their damaged past.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I was going with this, but I feel like this is more of a filler chapter. However, it's mostly to show how things are shifting.
> 
> 1\. I cannot write Odin, I dunno, his speech pattern is too hard to grasp.  
> 2\. Niles is my favourite if you haven't noticed. But I can't write him to save my life.  
> 3\. This chapter shows more of Takumi's past, although briefly. It explains how he transferred to Nohr in the first place.  
> 4\. Yeah, I made Takumi and Corrin step siblings. I was thinking Corrin's story was that, in highschool he wanted to be closer to his father's side of the family so he transferred to Nohr. I never thought of his back story much tho--But in any case, if I recall the original idea was Corrin met Leo during the bond's freshman year and then they became close. (Camilla was enamoured by Corrin's polite bahviour and has unofficially adopted him as their sibling, in which Xander and Elise agreed with.)


	5. Chapter 5: Falling down and standing up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy days must come to an end, the question however is: which happy days ended? Past or Present?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is very late but you know life happened and the semestre started again. Also, to be honest, I'm kinda disappointed in this chapter. But, since I'm following the original draft and I have no time to write since the semestre started, I guess here we go.
> 
> Again: Thank you for the support. 
> 
> Oh and:  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THIS CHAPTER. Please, if you are afraid of heights or something please do not read. If you recently had a bad accident or was traumatized due to an accident, please do not read or at least brace yourself. Maybe I'm over reacting but I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
> 
> I'm not an expert in psychology, so some might not agree with this chapter, or fic as a whole. I'm trying to make it realistic as possible.
> 
> Same reminder: I'm horrible at English. And there are probably more typos and grammatical errors here since I have no time to fix them.

Of course, all good things come to an end. Happiness was merely an opening to pain.

It was during their autumn break that everything he has hidden was brought into the open. Leo had been careless this time, and he was suffering for it. It had been only mere minutes after Takumi stormed out, barely saying a good bye past his shoulder. The book he had discovered was still there where he dropped it, near the blonde’s bead, with their photograph revealed out in the open. Leo could only sit on his bed, his knees drawn to his chest as he stared back at the insulting photo; their childish smiling faces are the opposite of how their relation is at the moment.

Today they had decided to hang out in his room; Leo had just bought a new book he wanted to show Takumi. It was the second day of their week long break, and also about two weeks after his talk with his best friend over his unsaid feelings. Takumi was unaware, and so was Corrin, and the blonde would not have it any other way.

When the revelation happened, Leo was lounging on his bed, the book Takumi brought in his hand as he devoured the words in the pages. The other male was leafing through his book shelf, looking through his old and new books. It was become a ritual to exchange books whenever one of them brought a book to lend the other, and since Takumi brought him two, the other was most likely looking for his second book to borrow.

It was the cause of the problem at hand—

“Oh, I had this book too when I was younger.” Takumi said suddenly, and Leo knew the alarm bells in his mind were screeching, “A book of old Hoshidan Folklore, I loved this as a kid.”

Leo rose from his half-lying position quickly, almost panicky, “Oh. Well it’s not a very interesting book actually; maybe you would prefer a book on old Nohrian Myths.” He said, trying to divert Takumi’s attention, and hoping the other would return the worn out book he was grasping.

But fate doesn’t seem to be on his side that day, rather Takumi merely smiled, “No, this is actually a pretty good book, I used to enjoy reading every day.” He said as he opened the cover, and Leo swore his heart stopped, “I can even remember my favourite story was about the divine weapon Fujin Yumi—.”

It was at the middle, Leo knew by heart that the story of the sacred Yumi was at the middle of the book, right where he placed the photograph. He hoped that maybe he placed it on another page, but the look of shock on Takumi’s face confirms his horrors. The way his body stiffened, and the way his hands clenched the worn out pages. As if to mock him, Takumi also raised the photograph closer to him, trying to asses if what he was seeing is true.

“Takumi—“

“...We knew each other.”

That was not a question, but a statement. Takumi’s eyes were hardened as they stared at Leo, a silent demand for Leo to explain himself. The other didn’t need to voice it out, because Leo knew that if he was in that situation, he would have also demanded for the truth that was hidden from him.

“Yes.” Leo said, averting his gaze, “We met at kindergarten, we used to play after class and sometimes well into the night.”

“...Why didn’t you tell me?” Takumi whispered, although it sounded calm, Leo couldn’t help but feel that his voice was accusing him.

“I thought it would benefit the both of us if you hadn’t remembered.” Leo murmured, wishing terribly that he could have prevented this from crashing before him. “We didn’t part in good terms. In fact, I was afraid that you hated me.”

“Hated you—?” he asked, looking back to the photo, “what could have happen—?” suddenly his eyes widened as he stared at Leo with an unreadable emotion,

“Takumi...?” hesitantly, Leo approached, but as he took a step forward, Takumi took a step back.

 “I... You can’t be—.”

“Takumi—“

“You were— you were the kid I-.” Takumi whispered, and Leo felt that he couldn’t breathe, “You were the child that haunted my nightmares—I almost killed you.”

"It was an accident." Leo tried to rationalize with the other. Takumi's breaths were becoming shallow in panic, "You didn't mean to."

"I pushed you off the slide because of a petty argument!" Takumi practically yelled, "I could have killed you! You could have died!"

It was out in the open, the silent horrifying fact of the ruined childhood. The snippets of the argument that haunted Leo throughout his recover period, those same snippets that would occasionally worm its way through the cracks of his barriers. The same memories that sometimes mixed within his nightmares, and would sometimes infuse his doubt.

The same memory he wanted to bury deep in his mind.

“It was an accident!” Leo said, louder than he anticipated, “It was an accident you don’t need to blame yourself over it.”

“Even so! I could have killed you—“

“You could have died too! You grabbed my arm and fell with me!”

He could remember that day clearly, he dreamt of it during bad nights; especially on nights when he was bombarded with self doubt. He also dreamt about it on nights when he misses his childhood. It haunts him, because he knew he still held unto the memory. It became worse during their second meeting. That day became a dark stain, and only after more than a decade that the opportunity of a closure came.

The memory was hazy, but Leo recalls. It was about a month after he decided to meet with his siblings, of course he told Takumi, but ever since then the other became cold towards him. Ever since then Takumi stopped talking to him, pushing him away. That day of the incident, they were arguing; it was already the middle of first grade, and Takumi had been giving him the silent treatment ever since the summer. Whenever Leo would try to approach him, Takumi would hurl insults to him, or words of hatred like ‘You don’t belong here’, or ‘You’re annoying, go away.’ Leo merely wanted to fix whatever Takumi hated him for.

It was the memory that soiled his childhood.

 _The sun was high in the sky when Leo followed Takumi to the playground, even when the other child told him to leave. Leo merely followed him, a bit lost, and maybe slightly desperate. Takumi was his only friend, all the other children found him odd, and it was only Takumi that approached him. Now, however, his stubbornness was telling him to make amends with his equally stubborn friend_.

_“What did I do wrong Takumi?” He had asked, and Takumi only spat at him._

_“Leave me alone.” He snapped, hurriedly he climbed the slide, in hopes of getting away from the persistent blonde._

_But Leo disobeyed him; rather, equally he chased the other up the slide. Children their age weren’t allowed in the big kid slide, their teacher told them. But Takumi ran up there, hoping to dissuade Leo from following, but the persistent child was stubborn, and soon he finds himself grabbing onto the silver haired child, trapping the both of them._

_“What did I do wrong?” Leo asked again, gripping onto the other boy’s hand in desperation. “I thought we were friends!”_

_“What friends?” Takumi scoffed, trying to pull his hand away, “No one likes you because you’re annoying! So go away!”_

_Leo was practically crying at that point, “I always thought of you as my friend!” was his whining but pleading response. “Don’t be mad anymore—.”_

_“No! Why would I be friends with someone like you!” Takumi yelled, “You lied to me! You are leaving anyway! Even after you promised to stay—“_

_“But I—“_

_“It would be better if you just disappeared!” The other yelled, “Leave me alone!” He gave the blonde a harsh shove, but his eyes widened at the next horrifying scene._

_Leo had been standing by the slide’s entrance; he was standing at the edge when he finally caught up to Takumi. His own eyes widened when he realized it himself, He tried to catch the rail bars, but his short hands weren’t able to reach. He was going to fall—_

_“I’m sorry--.” He said, for some reason it felt like the right words—_

_“LEO!”_

_A hand grabbed his own, Takumi tried to haul him back but gravity had been too much for the children, and they fell. Pummelling to their deaths and Leo at that time could only think that, at least Takumi cared enough to try and save him._

_There was no pain when he fell, he instantly blacked out as his head met the ground—_

_A week later, he woke in the Nohrian hospital, his older brother looking over him and so was who he later learned as his big sister. They moved him to a Nohrian hospital as soon as he was stable enough. His mother was arguing with their father in court for rights of custody. Xander had given him a small stuffed bunny and Camilla had promised to protect him._

_But, he still wondered, where was Takumi—_

And they were here now, silent and both equally guilty about the incident. It had been a dark stain on Leo’s past, or at least one of it, as the events that followed then became even more depressing as this. The memory haunted him, for the reason that, he had hoped that maybe they could rekindle their friendship, at the same time, he held a small resentment for the other male. Their fight was silly, stupid even for children their age, but that was it, they were children.

But a childish part of him held unto their memories—

Whether good or bad—

“I...” Takumi started, closing his mouth as he mulled over the words, in all honestly Leo was dreaded the next sentence that would fall out of his mouth. “I’m sorry...I can’t think straight. I need time to think of this.”

The blond nodded, “I understand.” And then, his next words, he said with all the sincerity he could muster, “I forgave you. I had forgiven you a long time ago. I guess— I also missed you.”

“I could have killed you.” He answered, his voice almost desperate, as if he wants the other to stay away from him. “How can you miss the person who could have killed you? Could have stained his hands with your blood?!”

Leo breath in, he needed to be calm, Takumi was bordering hysteria, he thanked the gods that his siblings were out today. “I admit, at first I was frightened when I saw you again. I was afraid you will hurt me, betray me, again. However, when I learnt you could not remember, I felt somewhat relieved and hoped to push everything behind me, but as we spent time together, I knew I still long for what we had. That’s when I learnt that I forgave you, because I still sought you out, even when you couldn’t remember me.”

Takumi only gave him a sad smile, “And all I did was forget about you...” he said, his voice was hollow, “But...I may have unconsciously remembered you, maybe it’s my brains way of atoning for my mistake.”

Leo bit his lip, “We were also good friends, I remember vividly that you would let me tie your hair.” His smile was sad, almost strained, “Mother wouldn’t let me near hers and you would let me do it as a special treat whenever I’m sad.”

Takumi only nodded, “I don’t remember that... all I remember was that I had a friend I wanted to see and let him tie my hair for me.” he laughed slightly, but it wasn’t of happiness or glee, “I can’t believe you still let me near you even after I’ve done.”

Leo shook his head, “It was an accident.” He said, this time with more conviction, “and I know you didn’t mean it. In fact, I knew that you tried to save me—.”

But the other only shook his head, “I need time—,” he murmured, clutching his head as if in pain, “I-I knew I felt like I’ve met you before but—I would never think—It’s coming back to me now.”

There was silence now, and Leo wasn’t sure what to say to makes things better between them. In fact, he wasn’t even certain that things would be better. He didn’t know how to repair the damage this has caused. He couldn’t simply turn back time, and prevented this from happening. Also, another part of his mind whispered, whispered that it was finally time to tell the truth.

“We both need time to think.” Leo said eventually, looking at Takumi with a hint of regret. “I’m sorry for keeping this from you.”

The other only nodded, “I understand—I might have done the same.”

And no words were said as Takumi gathered his things and left, quietly shutting the door behind him. Leo was left alone, alone to curl into himself and berate himself for being stupid. He didn’t know how long he sat that way, hugging himself like a pathetic child. He saved himself the dignity by refusing to cry over this. Refusing to cry over his own failure, and for the inevitable end of their friendship. He expects that the other would try to avoid him now, or at least, be angry at him for the lies and pretending he has done. It was only logical, and Leo placed reason above his feelings.

That evening, as he lay on his bed, refusing to join his family for dinner; not even when Xander came to his room later that evening; most likely because of Camilla’s worried insistence. His older brother merely asked him what was wrong, and Leo merely told him he was tired, he was fine, and would eat his own supper himself.

When he was left alone and finally able to sleep—He dreamt of thunder and rain, and this time it wasn’t about two children, or of a cold mansion—

Rather it was a dream of two males crying over the bodies of their childhood—

* * *

At the end of their autumn break, Leo was sure he looked more tired than he would have wanted. He acted fine to his family, attempting to reassure them that he was fine. Although it certainly convinced Elise, Camilla and Xander still gave him the look of concern. In fact, the whole break, Xander would come home earlier than usual, checking on him and asking if everything was alright. Camilla ion the other hand was more subtle, knocking into his room and setting a cup of tea on his bedside table as he read a book to distract his mind.

It was rather difficult; in fact, his mind would sometimes play out the horrifying fiasco of their confrontation. The blond could only shake his head and again attempt to ignore it.

There had been a couple of texts from Corrin throughout the break, asking him if there was something wrong with Takumi. Leo wanted to reply, but if the other male refused to tell his brother then the blonde felt that he had no right to say anything to Corrin. It was Takumi’s right to tell Corrin what has transpired, and to share with him his problems, Leo could not simply barge in and tell Corrin without Takumi’s consent.

He was also a hermit throughout the break, refusing to see Odin and Niles, lying about having the flu and locking himself in his room for most of the week. In most cases, he would either read or revise some of his work due after the break. Just to keep himself busy, just to ignore the lingering sadness he felt. He also pointedly ignore his phone most of the time, he couldn’t deal with the disappointment that it wasn’t the Hoshidan that texted him.

When he returned to college after winter break, everything became even more difficult. As he shared five classes with Takumi, the whole first week was tense as they avoided each other. At their shared break hours, Takumi was not seen, and Corrin was frantically asking leo if he knew something was wrong. He denied knowing something; hoping his face or actions didn’t betray that he was lying. It completely backfired as Corrin also began asking him if there was something wrong with him or if Leo and Takumi fought. The blonde denied all allegations. Niles and Odin were no better, in fact, he had to talk the two out of confronting Takumi; they noticed Leo’s sullen behaviour, and the missing Takumi, added with the fact he avoided him throughout the break, they merely added all the variables together—

It was now the second week after their confrontation, and Leo wasn’t sure what to do. They could simply slowly sink back into an old but familiar routine, avoiding each other. Or he can try to fix this, to find a solution to their crumbling friendship. It was a hard choice, as part of him wanted to simply let things be, afraid of making them worst. The stubborn part of him wanted to try; he doesn’t give up just as easily.

It wasn’t a hard choice after all—

As soon as their Psychology class ended that day, Leo marched up to his problematic friend and firmly grasped his shoulder. He felt Takumi stiffen at his touch, looking as if he was ready to bolt. But Leo wouldn’t let him, this has gone long enough. There was no need for this to take longer than it should, for Leo the incident had been years ago, and he has already forgiven the other. Takumi is the one who should learn to forgive himself.

“We need to talk.” He said simply, but forcefully as to show that he meant business..

Takumi shook his head, “I’m busy actually--.”

“Don’t lie; I know you have lunch after this.” Leo cut in, leaving Takumi with no means of escape, “Please, let us talk about this like adults.”

There was a pause, and Takumi nodded his head, Leo chalked it as a victory.

He found a familiar route outside of campus, although they could have easily breached the subject within the university, Leo wasn’t sure their friend’s wouldn’t interrupt. In fact, he was sure that their friends would have ‘invited’ themselves into the conversation. He would like to avoid that all costs, as this was between him and Takumi.

That’s how they found themselves in a quaint cafe, a little distant from the university. Leo motioned for Takumi to sit on a secluded booth that was unoccupied while Leo took their orders. The barista was kind and polite, but it took her longer to get his order as she kept dropping the cups, in the end she wasted four cups of coffee and almost burnt herself making tea, and apologized profusely.  Leo could only reassure her that he was fine, and offered her a small smile.

When he had arrived at their table however, Takumi was glaring at him slightly—

“I’m sorry; the barista was a bit clumsy.” He explained as he gave Takumi his order, the other wasn’t quite fond of Coffee, usually preferring tea.

“Yeah.” Takumi murmured, only staring at the steaming up, but there was something in his voice that indicates he was not happy about something, “Anyway, you wanted to talk.”

Leo only sighed as he took a sip from his coffee, it was good at least, but it did nothing to soothe his nerves. Maybe he should have gone for tea. “Yes, about our discussion that day—.”

“To be honest, I’m not even sure how to process it.” Takumi interrupts, sighing as he took his own sip from his beverage. “It’s a lot to process. I don’t even remember much of that day. I only have dreams of a friend, and then sometimes pushing him down the slide.”

“You don’t remember?”

“Yeah. The only thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, a bit disoriented, and some memories missing from my brain.” Takumi explained, clutching his head slightly with his right hand, “I lost a good chunk of my kindergarten memories leading up to the first half of first grade. My father then pulled me out and got me homeschooled so I wouldn’t be left out as I began to recover.”

Leo nodded, “But how did you know you pushed me?”

“I dreamt of it, I may have forgotten, but remembers our psychology classes? ‘Some memories that are forgotten resurface as dreams’? Well I assumed that’s what those dreams were.” He shrugged, “I just placed two and two together.”

“I was the same.” The blond said, averting his gaze to the widow, it had begun to rain. “I used to dream of it as well, among other things. Sometimes, on good days, I dreamt of us playing together.”

“It used to haunt me at night. I kept dreaming about pushing blond kid into a black void at the bottom of the slide.” the other bit his lip, his eyes clenching shut. “Sometimes it started with us playing, and it either ends with either the kid being pushed down, or throwing myself down that slide. I—”

“I understand... it was frightening.” That was an understatement.

Leo knew how horrifying that was to dream of that incident. It used to haunt him so frequently that he was afraid to sleep. As a child he even snuck to either Xander’s or Camilla’s room, sometimes he would wake to the both of them in his room, waking his out of his nightmares. A rare treat was waking up to his father awkwardly petting his head.

“I was starting to recover some of my memories.” Takumi sad suddenly, smiling softly as he recalled them, “Well, only in dreams, but then I realized it was our memories I was dreaming of. Sometimes I get flash backs too—I didn’t lose much memories, but I’m still rather disoriented.”

There was silence that followed, as both weren’t so sure on how to proceed with their discussion.  Leo could only watch the pitter-patter of rain as he fell on the window. There was no proper way to go about their situation, in fact, there wasn’t even anyway to make the situation better. But the blonde would be damned if he left it simply as that.

Thankfully, it was Takumi that broke the silence, “Why did you forgive me?” he asked, looking at Leo with a small hint of desperation. “You could have died.”

“I could have.” Leo murmured, but he turned his face to catch the other’s gaze, “But, It was an accident, and I’m a mature adult, not a childish cry baby who holds grudges over accidents.”

“You were around six years old then. How could you have been an adult?”

“Oh, I—uh, may have been childishly missing you and I knew you never meant to hurt me.” Leo replied, blushing slightly as he found the truth to be more mortifying, “You reached out for me after all.”

Takumi snorted, “Uh huh, not a childish cry baby, I see.”

It wasn’t completely a lie, Leo knew he had somewhat forgiven Takumi in their childhood, if Camilla’s words weren’t any indication. And yet, he had not fully forgiven him until their second meeting, when he had thought that maybe it was time to let go. However, his treacherous feelings haven’t completely let go of the longing he had felt as a child; the want and need to befriend him again, to find a sort of closure to the incident that had happened.

“Takumi, it has been years now, we could simply put everything behind us.” Leo said squashing the desire to reach over the table and hold Takumi’s twitching hand. “I’m alive. I’m fine. I forgive you. And we’re friends again. What else could you want?”

Takumi was silent for a few minutes, before he spoke, “You’re right, but it doesn’t correct what had happened.”

“I never said it did, but you have been atoning for years.” Leo argued, “Even unconsciously you torment yourself over an accident.”

“Let me make it up to you.” Takumi had said as he reached over and grabbed Leo’s hand, “Let me at least make it up to you. I know I sound stupid right now, but we could make up for lost time.”

Leo couldn’t help but blush, this was far too intimate for his liking, and yet he also felt giddy and happy inside. “You don’t need to; I’m simply overjoyed that we have resolved this.”

 _‘I’m just happy to be with you’_  He wanted to say, but was left unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote a solo chapter for Takumi earlier; I felt like this chapter is some what incomplete. I wanted to give the readers his back ground or feelings in this revelation. I haven't decided, but if you want me to, feel free to tell me.
> 
> Notes: 
> 
> 1\. Can you really forget someone? or selectively forget something? Hn I'm not sure but I heard somewhere thats the brain can block out memories due to multiple reasons, in some cases some psychological trauma can block out certain memories. I don't know how true that is, I'm not an expert.
> 
> 2\. Can they fight about something as trival as that? You'd be surprised how children become vindictive when they are upset.
> 
> 3\. Some repressed memories actually return to the consciousness through dreams. Which was one of the main themes in this fic.
> 
> 4\. I could have ended the fic here, but-to be honest there are still parts of it. More like the aftermath. I wanted to edit it a bit, try to clean it out more. I'll see what I can do-


	6. Chapter 5.2: Forgotten Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the revelation of the truth, he could now at least place a face on the faceless child in his nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I felt bad for both the short chapter and for the long unannounced hiatus. This is kinda like a bonus chapter, which explains Takumi’s take into what transpired between them.
> 
> This was actually written a year ago, so the writing style might be rusty/different. 
> 
> Honestly, at this point, if you guys want me to take this down, I would do it.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR LIKE MILD DISCRIPTIONS OF THE ACCIDENT AND MENTIONS OF SELF LOATHING AND MENTIONS OF DEATH.

After the revelation that happened, Takumi couldn’t help but look at himself with disgust and despair. Who was he to attempt to reconcile with Leo. The child he could have killed all those years ago. The child whose blood taints his hands. He could have died. And even with his unconscious wiping away his memories of that day along with the memories of his early childhood, his conscience decided that it would punish him.

That night, he kept dreaming about the event that happened. How he pushed the blond down the slide. Before, whenever similar dreams occurred, he had thought that he pushed himself. That’s how his doctor interpreted his dreams, but the man always said that ‘ _only you can find the true meaning of your dreams. I merely interpret what I think your subconscious is trying to say._.’

That fateful day he saw that photo, his memories started rushing back. It was the trigger his doctor mentioned, that might bring his repressed memories to the surface. The dream wasn’t a disguised message from his subconscious. No, it had been a warped memory trying to remind him of what he had done. His mind decided that he needs to be punished, if not unconsciously.

It had been weeks now, and all he could do was hide. He doesn’t trust himself to approach Leo. He was afraid to even speak to the blond. He caused so much trouble for him. It hurt him, because all he wanted to do was to apologize, to cry, and tell him that he loved him. His feelings were mixing together and overwhelming him: grief, self-loathing, fear, love, longing— feelings from the past and present are mixing together and warping his reason.

Breathe, he has to think rationally.

_He was young again; his hands were caked in dried paint as he laughed with a blond child he could now identify as Leo. The sun was high in the sky, and the play ground that surrounded the tree was filled with children. He was waiting for Ryouma to pick him up today, which was a special treat because not only does that mean he can have ice cream, but it means that he has a longer time to play with his friend._

_Suddenly, the sky became dark, and he felt fear in his heart, where was the sun?_

_“You know, the man came again.” Leo said beside him, “He said I can come with him. He lives pretty far, and I get to have new siblings that love me.”_

_He felt the pain in his heart at those words, “Are you leaving?” he asked in small voice. “You promise me you’d stay.”_

_Leo smiled, so bright against the darkness and Takumi felt anger spike through him. “Yes! I mean, I like it here but I can have a family who loves me.”_

_“I love you more than they do.” Takumi said with a small scowl, “They never met you! And so they can’t love you! I’ve been with you since forever! So stay with me! Don’t leave.” He reasoned._

_“I’m sorry. But, I want to meet my family.” Leo said in an apologetic tone, “But don’t worry maybe I can come visit.”_

_He blinked, and then suddenly they weren’t under a tree, they were on the slide. The big kid slide and his friend was standing in front of him, tears in his eyes as he pleaded with him. Pleaded him to talk, to know what was wrong. And yet, some part of Takumi didn’t feel any sympathy, only anger. Who was he to beg for Takumi’s attention, when he was leaving him? What right did this child have to leave him?_

_“What did I do wrong?” Leo asked gripping his hand in desperation. “I thought we were friends!”_

_“What friends? No one likes you because you’re annoying! So go away!” Takumi yelled as he tried to take back his hand._

_“I always thought of you as my friend!”Leo said in a pleading tone that only angered Takumi further, “Don’t be mad anymore—.”_

_“No! Why would I be friends with someone like you!” Takumi yelled, “You lied to me! You are leaving anyway! Even after you promised to stay—.”_

_“But I—“_

_“It would be better if you just disappeared!” The other yelled, “Leave me alone!”_

_And then, he shoved the blond to his death._ _The slide became taller than he remembered and there was only a black abyss at the end. He stood horrified as Leo slowly fell back, looking at Takumi with sad eyes and tears. He wanted to reach out, but he was frozen in his spot. Time felt like it has stopped, and then slowly Leo opened his mouth and said: “I’m sorry—.”_

_“LEO!” Finally he yelled and tried to reach out, if only he could—_

_And then, as if a cruel joke, time decided to move and Leo plummet into the dark abyss below._

_“LEO!”_

_“ **You killed him.** ” Something sinister said, and when the young Takumi turned his head, he was met with an older version of himself, coated in some purple smog. “ **You killed him**.”_

_“I didn’t! I didn’t!” the child yelled, “He’s alive! He’s alive!”_

_The dark being chuckled, “ **Oh, poor Takumi, of course he’s alive, and no thanks to you**.” The distorted voice floated around him, the words sending chills to his bones. “ **Can you image how much trauma you have done to him?** ”_

_“No...”_

_“ **You killed him, Takumi**.”_

_“No...”_

_“ **Takumi.** ”_

_“No...”_

_“ **Takumi**.”_

_And before he could speak, the scenery shifted, but instead he was looking at the crumpled body of a blond child—_

_“LEO!”_

“TAKUMI!”

He shot up from his bed, his hair dripping wet from the impromptu cold shower that was dumped unto him. He blinked back tears as he looked around himself. He was in his room, his older brother and little sister were looking at him with worry, and he wasn’t staring at the body of his childhood friend— He raised a hand to cover his mouth as the bile threatened to rise from his throat. It was a dream, it was just a dream, and his friend is alive.

_The friend he could have killed—_

“Is it the nightmares again?” Corrin asked as he knelt down by his bedside, “You never had one this bad in a while.”

“I’m fine.” He said with a shudder; he wasn’t fine, far from it.

“Maybe it was triggered by the stress.” Corrin mused as he looked back to Sakura, “please prepare us some tea; Camomile for Takumi.”

Takumi preferred green tea, but he knew why Corrin chose that particular one; it calms the nerves.

When Sakura left, Corrin gave him his undivided attention. “Do you want me to call your doctor again? It sounded pretty bad.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a nightmare.” he knew that was a lie.

“Takumi, this is not just a nightmare. It scared us when you suddenly started screaming. No matter how much we yelled, you wouldn’t wake up. It took us having to dump cold water on you for you to snap out of it.” And without warning, Corrin gathered him for a hug, “Just, tell me what happened.”

Takumi was at lost, what can he tell his brother? That he almost killed his childhood friend? Sure, Leo said it was accident, and for some odd reason had forgiven him. But, can Takumi even forgive himself? He always thought that those dreams were of him falling down that slide. His memories were slowly coming back and it had been a blond child who fell, the child he pushed off over a stupid argument and fear of abandonment. What would Corrin say if he knew that his hands were stained...

“I—.” He started to say, “I don’t know. I dreamt of the day of the accident.”

Corrin’s face crumpled even more, that accident scared all of them. He could have died. It had taken years of therapy for him to stop being afraid of heights. It had taken him years to even remotely act like a normal child again. He had always been an introvert, but for years he only had few friends. He had been skittish, quiet, and possessive. His temper would flare, and his parents feared he would not be the same again.

All he could remember after the incident, was that he had a friend who he always longed for—

“Is that why you were acting so odd these days...” Corrin asked carefully, a hand gently combing through his hair. “Takumi, talk to me. What happened?”

“I—I remember, it was my fault we fell...” he started to say, and he hoped Corrin didn’t judge him. “I was being stupid and pushed him down the slide. I tried to save him but I was too small—.”

‘ ** _Can you image how much trauma you have done to him?’_**

He felt his brother give him another hug, his hand moving away from his hair to run soothing circles on his back. As a child, this was one way to comfort him. His mother always held him gently whenever he had a tantrum or a nightmare. Ryouma had been too stiff for such affection, and Hinoka had always been so awkward, but aside from mother, Corrin always gently held him. He felt unbidden tears gathering in his eyes, but he was too tired to hide and wipe them. He was too tired for his pride.

“Takumi listen to me,” His brother said as he pulled away, only to cup his younger brother’s face, “It’s in the past. You were a child, you didn’t know any better.”

“I met him again.” He whispered, “He said he forgave me. How can he forgive me?” He raised his hands to his hair and gripped at his bangs, trying to calm himself.

_‘I could have killed you.’_

“What have I done...”

“Takumi,” He felt his brother gently remove his hands from his hair, his thumb running soothing circles at the back of his palm, “Listen to me, he forgave you. That means he is healing or at least he understands that you did not intend for it to happen. You can't change the past, but you are sorry for what you have done and he forgave you.”

_‘I forgave you. I had forgiven you a long time ago. I guess— I also missed you.’_

_‘It was an accident.’_

_‘I know you didn’t mean it. In fact, I knew that you tried to save me—.’_

"He has every right not to forgive you but he did." Corrin continued to speak, "You can't change what happened but you can at least reconcile with him. You can't fix your mistakes but you can atone for them. He already forgave you, but you have to learn to forgive yourself."

Takumi didn’t know if he deserved forgiveness, but when Sakura came and gave him his tea, he felt somewhat calm. The remnants of the nightmare left him, but he was too tired to protest when Corrin helped him change his shirt. He felt tired when Corrin bid him good night and told him to skip class tomorrow. He was too tired to even tell Corrin to get out of his room as the older male went lay down beside him. He was too tired to complain about the coddling.

He was too tired to keep his eyes open.

This time, he dreamt that he was the one falling, but someone reached out and grasped his hand.

His eyes met Leo’s kind ones—

_‘I forgive you.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not actually delusional to think they have completely healed from their trauma. The most positive outcome of this is that they accepted what happened and are slowly moving to healing. 
> 
> Uhhh should I change the rating?


	7. Chapter 6: Reconciliation with the present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words are said and feelings reconciled, maybe it's also time for them to be reciprocated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sure if I'm able to convey the fic properly or whether I'm able to give the ending justice. I think there are some loose ends. But the original draft ended here.
> 
> Some stuff will be explained at the end.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF CHILD NEGLECT BUT ONLY SLIGHT--
> 
> This is not Beta Read btw. I tried editing the fic as much as possible. I some minor edits after posting. Sadly I'm still not satisfied.

Honestly, despite his crude nature, Niles is actually a great friend. Although, he would never admit it but Leo is grateful that he has met Niles and Odin they were always supportive in their own way and are not afraid to give him advice or criciticism. They were valuable friends--

“You know, I’m beginning to think that maybe you should start making your moves on Takumi.” Niles said as he took a bite of his sandwich, “I mean, really, you guys have been dancing around each other far too long.”

And honestly, sometimes Leo wished Niles would shut his mouth or at least learn when his input is not needed.

“We are not dancing round each other! Nor do we share any romantic feelings.” the blond snapped with a light blush on his cheeks.

After the drama that happened practically a month ago, they were slowly building up their old relationship. Takumi began joining him again during a shared break time, and sometimes going over to each other’s houses to either study or read; the weekends, Leo would sometimes help tame the rebellious long silver tresses. They sometimes meet up for coffee and even began to visit the park again.

It had been a stressful process between them. Takumi still had the guilt weighing down on him. Sometimes, he would be skittish around Leo, almost afraid that he might actually hurt the blond. On some nights Leo himself would wake up to a nightmare, and when Takumi found out he made Leo promise to always call him whenever he had a bad nightmare; no matter how late. He agreed, only if the other would do the same. It was not perfect, but they were trying.

That was why Leo decided it would be for the best to deny the fact that he felt anything towards Takumi. The other didn’t need the stress of a relationship at the moment. Furthermore, he didn’t want Takumi to feel obligated to reciprocate his feelings. Besides, it was impossible for Takumi to like him that way—

 “Yeah, Yeah, You’re in denial I know.” Niles said offhandedly, “but what I want to know is who was the cutie that asked you out?”

The blonde blushed slightly, recalling the events that transpired that morning. He was waiting for Niles, as the white haired male invited him for breakfast, in which he would meet with their usual group. As Leo has no classes that morning, they agreed to meet outside the Humanities building. That was when a girl, that he was sure was in his Economics class approached him, stuttering about a concert he had no interest in. Of course it was at that moment that Niles walked out of the building and caught the scene, a huge grin on his face as he answered for the blonde. When the others arrived, Niles was nice enough to not mention anything, and Leo was grateful—however as lunch time rolled around.

“It was no one.” The blonde replied, scowling as the other continued to leer at him, “I haven’t exactly talked to her, nor are we even close.”

“But you have to admit, she did ask you out.”

“I’m sorry, but who was asked out?” a voice suddenly inquired, it sounded a bit panicky and shocked.

Niles couldn’t help but smirk maliciously, looking at Takumi with ill-hidden sadistic joy, “Our dear princess over here got asked out this morning,” he said, almost in a sing-song voice, “And she was such a cutie.”

“It’s nothing.” Leo pressed, scowling as he sent a glare to his older friend, “don’t you have something of importance to do?”

“Well I know when I’m not needed!” Niles said suddenly, raising both his hands in mock surrender, “I’ll let you guys sort out this little lovers’ spat.” Neither of the two younger students said anything as the third year left, in fact, the two were suffocating too much on the silence that followed.

“Is that true?” Takumi asked quietly. The silver haired male looked at Leo oddly, almost looking a bit betrayed.

Leo frowned; he didn’t want to be in this situation. In fact, he was sure he didn’t need to explain himself, however the way Takumi was looking at him makes him feel as if he should be explaining himself. “Yes. But Niles turned her down for me before I could do it myself.”

“Oh.” Takumi murmured, looking a bit dejected and sighing calmly, “I see.”

The pregnant silence that followed was uncomfortable, almost suffocating. Leo couldn’t but feel that he should say more, to reassure the other that he did intent to turn her down. It was an odd impulse, but if it would lighten the frown on the other’s face then he was willing to do so. It might be foolish, even particularly embarrassing, but the way the other was looking upset was pushing the blond to find some words of comfort.

“I wouldn’t have agreed, you know.” Leo finally muttered, “It was sudden, and I don’t hold any feelings for her. I barely know her.” He explained, calmly, but he wasn’t so sure if he hid the desperation in his voice.

Takumi remained silent for a while, and Leo was beginning to fear what was going on through the other male’s head. “And if I asked, would you have also said no?”

“Ask me what?”, somehow, he wondered if the look of confusion was present on his face. “That is a bit vague Takumi.”

“On a date...” the other murmured shyly, “If I asked you on a date would you have rejected me?”

Oh... Leo was loss for words at that question, he could feel himself blushing. Well, today was full of surprises; he couldn’t help but think to himself.Actually, it was more of an awkwardness right now, mostly because, this man before him was his friend, a childhood friend who forget about him, and that now they’ve reconciled—

Also, _he held affections for him_ —

“Just forget about it.” The blonde blinked as he stared at the other male, although Takumi looks to be embarrassed as well, there was also a look of dejection on his face. “I mean, you don’t have to feel like you have to answer. If fact, I can understand if you don’t want to date me.” _After what happened_ , was the silent message that Leo heard.

Leo frowned, he wasn't so sure on what to say about the situation. In the first place, he already knew that he liked Takumi more than a friend. What made him hesitate was whether he was ready for this? Or more importantly, whether Takumi was ready for this? Their past had been scarring them for so long that he was afraid that this was another dream. They have reconciled, and are even at the healing process, slowly returning to what they have lost. And yet, he wondered, could they remain like this? Hesitant because their past relationship had ended in an abrupt accident. He clenched his fist and breathe in then out. He moved on, somewhat, he had already began to feel his connection with Takumi. 

He is ready to take the leap.

“I would have said yes to your invitation.” He muttered, refusing to look away, because he wanted to look sincere, “I would have preferred your company to hers, or anyone else’s for that matter.”

As soon as he said that, his bravado disappeared and left him horrified and embarrassed. ‘I’m making a fool out of myself!’ Leo internally hissed, wishing quite vehemently that he could hide his embarrassment, or that maybe he could take back the last part of his (confession?) statement. It was far too mortifying on his part, he almost sounded like some love sick teenager. Maybe he could rectify it by saying something less likely to sound as if it came from some romance novel.

But before he could try, Takumi reached for his hand, squeezing it softly, “So umm, can I at least take you out later?” he asked, only maintaining eye contact for a second before hiding his face in shame.

There was the awkward silence again, and Leo was sure his face has gotten redder than he thought possible. He was sure that he looked ridiculous, blushing like a ripe tomato. The only consolation was that his friend was in the same dilemma, blushing madly and refusing to catch his gaze. Why were they even this awkward? they were adults, if only he could channel out his usual arrogance instead of this blushing ball of slush.

“Oh just say yes already—.”

Someone broke the silence, but it wasn't either of them...

“Hush Corrin that was too loud—.”

“Uhh, since it seems we have already disrupted their moment I would suggest that we quietly make ourselves scarce—.”

From behind a tree, both males could make out their friends’ heads as they watched them, however it was only Odin who was smart enough to quietly sneak away. Leo wasn’t so sure if he was more embarrassed that he was asked out, by his best friend and maybe even crush, or that his friends were spying on them. Takumi was screaming some sort of threat to their person and Leo could only hide his face in shame.

However, as soon as the situation was calmed, Leo couldn’t help but tell Takumi that he was free at seven—

Of course, the actual date had been awkward—

 “Uh, so I haven’t really thought of this through, maybe we can get a cup of coffee and just walk around.” Takumi said, stuttering at the beginning as he brought Leo to what he knew as a popular coffee shop, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, at least you won’t be taking me to a noisy concert.”

“Is that where that faceless person was going to take you?”

“Takumi that is a rude thing to say.” He scolded lightly, and the other only shrug, but he had a small frown on his face, “I don’t even like concerts, or at least I prefer to listen to music in peace and not with screeching hooligans.”

“Wow, so even your ears are delicate.”

“You call me delicate but who was the one who has such a girlish face—ow! That is not how you treat your date!”

When they started laughing at their own silliness, Leo thought it wasn’t so bad at all. It was strange to say the least, the development of their relationship has grown from friends, strangers, enemies, friends, and now they have managed to achieve the dating stage. It was beyond his wildest imagination, in fact, he was certain that wouldn’t meet each other at all.

He wasn’t so sure if everything would be okay, but he spent years trapped in the past. He should just start living in the present.

As Takumi offered him a cup of coffee, with a bright smile on his lips, Leo couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of everything.

That night, he dreamt of a cup of coffee and warm earthen eyes.

* * *

“You know, we have been dating for about a month now.” Takumi said as he watched the snow fall. Although he looks calm, but Leo could actually hear the undertones of wonder and disbelief in his voice. “And I have met your siblings, sorta—.”

“You haven’t met Xander yet.” Leo couldn’t help but point out. As if remembering something, he shifted his stare at their joint hands, “And I haven’t even introduced you as my boyfriend.”

“Do you think he would murder me? I mean aren’t all protective brothers like that?”

“Xander will not murder you.”

“Niles says otherwise.”

“It was because he was stupid enough to say a flirtatious remark to me in front of my older siblings.” Leo sighed, "Even if it was only in jest my siblings do not take such statements lightly."

Takumi only chuckled, “Why am I not surprised.” He said simply as he squeezed the blonde’s hand, “You know this isn’t how I picture us.”

“What? Standing stupidly out in the cold?” Leo replied, sarcastically, smirking as the other gave him a disapproving stare, “I admit, I also didn’t picture us like this; at least not this intimate.”

They continued to gaze at the falling snow, seated together on a cold bench at the park. Winter has come and the first snow of the season was last night. In Nohr, they were used to the snow at the last month of the year, and rather unfortunate for Takumi he was not prepared for the onslaught of cold air. His cheeks were red from the cold, and he wore a rather warm looking scarf. Leo himself was wearing one that was hand knitted by his older sister, with his initials embroidered at the end.

“You know, Niles asked me an interesting question—!” Takumi began but Leo immediately clamped a glove covered hand onto his mouth.

“Oh God, I don’t want to hear it.” Leo said, “Any question that came from that scoundrel’s mouth is either vulgar or simply embarrassing.”

Takumi removed the other’s hand from his person and gave him a small smirk, “Well he was only asking if we at least kissed yet—.”

Now Leo could feel himself blushing, not from the cold, but from the sheer image of what Takumi was suggesting. “Well, it’s not any of his business.”

Takumi only shrugged, “Well, I wouldn’t mind kissing you now.” Was his helpful insight, “But if you’re too shy to—.”

“Don’t call me shy.” Leo scoffed, “I’ll have you know I’m not shy kissing you.”

“Prove it.”

And he did, he leaned forward and gently, but sweetly pecked the other on the lips, and Takumi could only chuckle. Before Leo could pull away, Takumi reached over to his cheeks, cupping his face, signalling to make it last. The blonde obliged, this time pressing his lips more firmly. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, merely one of adoration and affection.

“Figures, the only way to make you affectionate is to challenge you.” Takumi said as they pulled away, laughing at Leo’s pout—the blonde would deny it being as such, “It’s cute that you’re still awkward at these things.”

Leo scoffed, “You’re no better; you had to resort to challenging me in order to get a kiss.”

Takumi only smiled, “I guess we’re both idiots, don’t let Corrin know, he’ll be fawning over how cute we are or something.”

“That’s more like my sister’s field of expertise actually.” Leo muttered, chuckling at the image, “she might smother you in her embrace.”

“She already did, no offense but I do not want to suffocate via her chest.” He said, shaking his head at the memory of being hugged by Leo's rather affectionate sister. "At least Hinoka wouldn’t suffocate you.” And then he paused, as if mulling over something, and Leo was slightly curious as to what the other was thinking.

“Would you like to meet them? This summer I mean.” Takumi suddenly asked, looking at the blonde with a unsure smile on his face, “I did invite you to come to the summer festival, and I’m sure everyone would have love to meet you.”

“You were serious then?” Leo asked, recalling the conversation from a few months ago, “I thought you were only being polite.”

“Well, I was being serious then.” He replied rather awkwardly, “And you can even meet Hinata and Ooboro, I don’t think you’ve met them since I was only introduced to them during second grade.”

Leo shook his head, “I haven’t but I would love to meet them.” Then quietly to himself he muttered, “It would be nice to visit.”

“You can even stay over—I mean if you have no place to stay.” Takumi suggested, however the hesitance in his voice shows that he at least remembers his old situation.

“No, my mother died from what I know and her old apartment must have already been leased.” Leo shrugged, “And all legal custody goes to my father—well my brother now as father died when I was still a minor.”

“Then, stay with us for the whole duration of your stay.” Takumi said, pressed. “I don’t remember much of your mother.” He admitted with a frown.

“You wouldn’t, since she rarely took care of me anyway.” Leo replied, shrugging, “It was the neighbours and you who would feed me.”

“Wow, already I’m taking the duties of a husband and feeding you.” Takumi teased, trying to at least lighten the solemn atmosphere, Leo noted that Takumi dislike him being upset.

“More like wife, with your hair and face.” Leo teased back, forcing a small smile on his lips when the other began to stutter, “I’ll stay with you, and I do want to see if your room is still a mess as I remembered it to be.”

“My room was not a mess!”

There were things he wondered if he should have left forgotten, his mother’s face, his father’s kindness, and even his childhood. But as Leo looked at Takumi now, smiling and holding his hand. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe holding unto some of those memories were worth it, that maybe being sentimental was not all as bad as he would have hope. The snow continued to fall and Leo couldn’t help but think that maybe things were looking up after all.

There were no sounds of laughing children, but rather adults laughing and teasing each other as the sky blanketed the earth with pure snow.

* * *

The seasons came to pass, and now the sun was setting as the summer breeze became cooler as night arrived. Leo could hear the clamour of the household as everyone else ran themselves ragged getting prepared for the festival. He heard Ryouma’s booming voice as he laughed over what he assumed to be Corrin’s mistake, if his shriek was not any indication. He could also hear the girls chatting and laughing as they helped each other fix their hair. He also heard Hinata laughing as he helped set up the dishes to be eaten later tonight.

“Hold still!” Takumi scolded from behind him, “Let me fix the obi first before you squirm around.”

Leo scoffed, “I’m perfectly still, you however could not tie a perfect knot.” He shot back; growling as the other tied the obi a little too tight.

“Just be happy I love you enough not to strangle you.” Takumi muttered.

Leo couldn’t help but chuckle as he turned to face his boyfriend, “Now, stop sulking. As much as you’re adorable when you pout, I don’t want you to be sullen during the festivities.”

Takumi only huffed, but there was a small smile on his lips, “at least you can be a little romantic even once a while.”

“I’m not a soulless Nohrian.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Leo could only shake his head, but when Takumi leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips, Leo couldn’t help but smile. There was always something sweet whenever they would kiss each other, and he could always feel his heart flutter. Months into the relationship, and Leo found himself holding unto these small memories.

“You actually look good in a Kimono.” Takumi said, grinning as he gave him another peck, “Maybe we can get you into Hinoka’s old elegant ones, you would look beautiful in flower prints.”

“I’m not the one with their hair long enough to be styled into a traditional bun.” Leo scoffed playfully, “You would look even more beautiful in such garments; especially with hair combs in your hair.”

“Watch it; I may as well kick you for the trouble you’ve cost me.”

“You’re the one causing trouble right now.”

They only had smiles on their and the poked and teased each other, laughing at the small banter that came from their lips. It was enjoyable to say the least, to be able to let himself enjoy these small moments. And after years of longing for something his childhood could never let go, he had it; he had in his grasp and was now laughing and loving with some who helped him move on from his fall.

He won’t lie, they had so much to fix. On bad nights, he would wake up from his dream of falling children, which had him scrambling for his phone to call Takumi late at night. The other had been patient, whispering soft comforting words and telling him that it was okay. They were okay. And that he was there to save him again. He was there to love him. Sometimes, it was the other way around, and he would comfort Takumi, telling him that he forgave him, that he loved him.

However, that night, after the festivities died down and both of them went to sleep, he dreamt of the male he held in his arms, he dreamt of smiles and laughter that would follow them throughout their days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks for putting up with this fic. I don't know if I did it any justice, or if anyone actually approve of the outcome or what I did. But, thank you for your support. 
> 
> 1\. What about leo's mom? I never elaborate it in the fic, mostly because I don't know where to place it, and it's already too long. But, I can give you a back story: Leo's Mother was Garon's mistress (one of many--), when his wife found out, Garon was forced to break ties with her-- he didn't know she was pregnant with Leo. She tried to make him stay using Leo as leverage, but Garon was more inclined towards his first wife, although, he did promise to support and acknowledge Leo. About a year or two after he was born, his mother left for Hoshido, tired of trying to compete with katherina. Years later, Garon finds her and persuades her to let him see Leo, but when he saw her living condition, he was now demanding to have custody over him. In the end, after Leo's accident, Garon used it as leverage to win the case. (We have to remember that Garon wasn't exactly evil, in fact Leo mentioned in his support with Elise that Garon was actually kind, and would even give Leo piggy back rides)
> 
> 2\. The barista in the Cafe was Felicia--
> 
> 3\. The girls that asked Leo out is open for interpretation, I left it that way because I wasn't so sure who to use. At first thought of Nyx, but it would be out of character for her. Then Mozu, and again it doesn't fit, and lastly Charlotte, but well--I decided to leave it open.
> 
> 4\. I see Corrin is the coddling brother type, you know, teasing his siblings but fawns and worries over them. Lol, I can also picture him trying to find Takumi (And his other siblings for that matter) a date.
> 
> 5\. Most of the Psychological theories are from Freud


End file.
